So I've decided after a long while of consideration that I most likely can't have a healthy relationship with a woman. This is what's caused me to question my status as a bisexual. However, even though I'm pretty well decided on this, whenever I'm around women, I have this...I call it a voice, it isn't really, but it's like someone urging me on...but it's like it's telling me, "be courteous, be funny, she might ask you out!" But I'm decided now! It just wouldn't work out! How can I silence this voice? Will it always be there? Anyone who can offer any kind of advice, I will be most grateful! ^^
Let me ask you an important question- are you certain you can have a healthy relationship with a man? If the answer is yes, then I think you've discovered a truth about yourself that's very important. If the answer is that you're not sure of anything, then it means you're only 24 and you're still going through the process of getting to know yourself. It sounds like you are attracted to women or at the very least, that you want them to be attracted to you. This could be insecurity, an inability to accept yourself as being gay, or it could mean that you're truly besexual. If you've made a final decision the best way to still that voice is through self talk. By self talk, I mean re-conditioning your subconscious of the habit of trying to attract women by simply talking outloud to yourself when you're alone about what you want, what you don't want, and all the reasons why. You've got a lot of years of habit to break- that's why it won't be easy or instantaneous. Be honest in your self talk. Your mind reacts to the senses. Something that's said outloud has more impact than something that's merely thought. Good luck!
when i see guys sometimes i think that okay he is a guy. heterosexualy he would be looking at me as a prospective girl. i get nervous. i used to mistake this for likeing guys. i don't have the voice but its the same emotions. i did this when i was coming out to myself and i've talked enough with you so that i feel i can say this. I personally think your gay and have thought so the whole time i've been talking to you. you just need to realize that what you are thinking are desires are natural awarness that the opposite sex should be attracted to you. you aren't attracted to them. there is nothing wrong with being gay. i know its hard to let go of a title of being bisexaul and 'give up' and be gay but its what will make you feel better. just pick one and go with it. stick with what you feel is true to your heart. if you don't like women don't force it on you. go with your feelings. and say it out loud. "I, Dan, am gay." thats how i first came out to myself. i cried. its hard. but i think it'll be beneficial to you to come out to yourself.
Dan, I don't really have any advice for the voice, but I can somewhat relate. I realize that since questioning my sexuality, I started to look at guys. I think its mostly because I can appreciate when some of them are good looking, but I realized that I may look, but its not sexual nor do I have any wish to be in a relationship with a guy. Trust me I understand how confusing these feelings are, I hate being conflicted too. If you want to talk more feel free to pm me. Hope this helps a little.
Thanks you guys (&&&) you've all given me a LOT to think about! I'm kinda more confused now than I was when I posted this, but in a good way ^^ I'm studying the way I feel around women now, and really trying hard to examine my deepest feelings...not as easy as it is to type! Hehe! But thanks so much! You've been infinitely helpful, and I am equally as grateful!!
