Hello everyone! I have an issue with a certain friend of mine. I like this friend of mine. He can be pretty sassy, but he laughs at my jokes and invites me to sit with his friends at lunch and stuff. He's also a good dancer and taught a bunch of us a dance that we performed for an audience. So yeah, he's cool and I like having him as a friend. The thing is, some mutual friends of ours have told me that he has a crush on me. However, he has never approached me in person to tell me how he feels. I would rather hear it from him in person than let his friends speak for him. I don't want to assume how he feels either. All I know is that I like him as a friend and that's all, nothing more. What is bugging me is that he won't just say how he feels! He gets close only when he texts, but I don't want to drag it out of him via text because it takes too long to have a text-based conversation and when talking about something intimate like someone's feelings, I don't think it's appropriate to talk about it by texting. It's impersonal and takes too long. He texted me tonight, and when I didn't answer, he texted again. I apologized and said I was busy. He then texted me asking what the hell happened over summer. I asked for clarification and he texted that we had texted a lot and thought things were going well? I didn't know what he meant by "well," so I replied with "I thought so too. I think we are friends and I [am working tonight]. I'm not intending to be mean or rude when I don't text you back." He replied with "Okay, if that's what you want, sir." What bothers me is that he won't say what he wants. I used to avoid sharing with friends what I wanted too, and back then it really hurt my feelings when my friends didn't understand how I was feeling. But then I learned that people can't read my mind, that I have to say how I feel for people to really know. So I'm refusing to try and know what he's thinking/feeling unless/until he says it out loud. Is that bad? I just don't want to feel guilty for not going out of my way to find out how he feels. I want to feel reassurance that I'm not being like my friends who didn't listen to me back when I tried to talk about my own feelings.
Ok, I understand that you think that talking about feelings through text is impersonnal and kind of weird, but maybe this is your friend feels comfortable starting to talk about his feelings. Maybe you can just call him and tell him you're having the feeling that you missed something in your last text exchange, that you hope you didn't hurt his feelings because that was not what you were intending to do and that you'd like to discuss this around a coffee if he is up to it. Talking face to face might be the best way to solve the communication problems you're having with him. Take care, Cécile
I agree with what was said above. I know it's much easier for me to talk about my feelings through writing then it is for me to say it to someone's face. It just makes me uncomfortable so maybe he's like that as well. Maybe try to talk to him alone next time you see him and see if you can sort this out a bit if he's not even being clear through texting
Here... You like him. He seems to like you. Why not ask him out : o ? The text thingy you wrote that he said seemed upset to me, like he was thinking you pushed him aside for work sorta. That's sorta a self-esteem dependency problem, but I know I have that too >_< Anyways, that's just a small issue. The point is, it sounds like he's jealous you're working rather than texting him kinda. Seems like a big pointer that he likes you in my opinion. I wouldn't text him to open up. I'd rather either face to face talk, tell him you have something important to talk about.... Or, you could write a letter to him. This way, he gets his own time to think of what he wants to say. For all we know, he may be waiting for this, and you both could end up really happy And on a very random side note, your avatar is very cute XD Like... veryyyyyyy cute.
I would have to agree with what everyone said above. Another idea is just to make sure you give him plenty of opportunities to talk to YOU alone. I know I'm a shy guy and I would never talk to someone unless we were absolutely alone. Hope I helped in some shape or form! Good Luck!
