So... This is my boyfriend's, I'll call him L, and my first relationship... We've only ever held hands, I once tried to hug him but it was kinda awkward D= So like... we've been dating since like Feb. 25~. It's only been like what, 1.5 months ._. I'm kinda getting bored with it... Just cause, he doesn't seem into me. And we haven't done anything with each other besides hold hands too. I dunno if I'm being impatient or not... I've always wanted a boyfriend who'd be super touchy cause I guess it'd physically make me feel comforted and supported. We both get along really well, but to me it's just like we're friends with benefits, except there are no benefits. Or in other words, we're just like really good friends. We're both the only person the other knows who is also gay, as well. Anyways... I have two mindsets, and it'd be great to get some help and perspectives so I can see which mindset is flawed. #1. I just stay with him till things become more apparent. Some things take time, and this is both our first relationship too, so I should wait and see cause things could start to happen. #2. I kinda dump him, say it doesn't seem to be working, and go hunt for other guys who I'm more interested in. The prob. is that I like several other guys more than him, but I barely know them at all and we're just like newly friends. I'm more interested and excited by these other guys than him... But of course, I don't really know these other guys... And I don't truly know if they're gay or not, they all have dated/have a girlfriend at the moment, according to what I've heard... So... of course, #1 is the apparently best choice. But I dunno, truly, what I should choose. I wanna be with someone I'm happy with but maybe I'm not giving L a chance. Of course being with one of these other guys would be exciting and new, but it's a very small chance that they're gay and that they'd even like me anyways... I guess, I just need consolation and further reinforcement that #1 is what I should do. So yeah... I AM SO CONFUZZLED I DUNNO WAT TO DO >_<
I'm only in my first relationship myself, and it's lasted for a good year now. I can say that it's definitely taken time to develop and mature, and it's still a work in progress now as my bf and I to this very moment are still learning about each other's needs, which themselves can change and evolve as the relationship progresses. So while learning about each other we also learn about ourselves. Anyway, have you tried gently talking to your bf about this? Maybe he's just a little timid, which is understandable that this is his first relationship. I think probably open communication is one of the best ingredients for a successful relationship.
alright so what i think is that you should definitly stay friends with L, but from what i got youre not official or anything. if thats the case why not keep your eye out for someone you really do like. just follow your heart. if it turns out L is right for you, you dont want to have broken off ties with him but you also dont want to miss out on the boy of your dreams
Ehhhh, we're 'official'... But it really seems like we're just friends who incidentally hold hands sometimes... I'm scared to talk to him about this, cause it really would just show that I dunno if we are working out, and that I was considering leaving this relationship. I just am curious if I should live this out and see what happens or not... He's nice, he's asked me out on some dates, I've likewise done the same, but I just don't know what I should do D=
Hi there! Maybe he is just not ready to do more than just hold hands at the moment. You have been dating only for one and a half months. Give it some time. For a lot of people to be able to move to the next level (and that includes cuddling, sex) they need to feel that they can trust the other person and that there is more than just 'dating'. You create trust by showing your feelings for him and that the two of you are together. The other thing too is that because it is his first relationship he might be not sure as to how he should proceed or how to develop the relationship as it were. You can help in that by slowly trying to take it to the next level. Have you kissed? If not, maybe try giving him a kiss and see how that goes. The other thing you could do is invite him over for a movie and sit beside him. If you two have been already on several dates, and enjoy each others' company and have a good time, I wouldn't break it off just yet. Give it a bit more of a chance.
It's way tooo risky to kiss him, I have severe allergies to nuts and some kinds of seafood... I told him about those already anyways. I'd like to kiss but like... we've only held hands and hugged once, and there hasn't been any moment really... And also.. when I hugged him it wasn't reciprocated, I don't think ;_; When I say risky, I mean, I'd ask him, hey have you eaten any nuts or seafood in the past 36 hrs? Oh, you haven't? Okay, wanna kiss >_> ? And allergies aside, I don't wanna rush him but gosh we're moving slower than a dead snail ._.
Hi there! I'm sure you are going to be fine if you would try kissing him on his cheek. Also, you should be okay kissing him even if you have allergies. It's not like that you are going to be kissing him when he is eating seafood or anything that contains nuts. But it is good that you have mentioned it to him. I think not wanting to rush him is a good approach. But you can still start showing him that you are ready to do a bit more than just holding hands. You could even ask him, if he would like to try kissing, hugging or cuddling. Some people, especially if it is their first relationship, have to get used to the idea of doing these things and that it is okay to show feelings for another person. Before you give him a hug, maybe ask him if it is okay to give him a hug. For some, they need a bit of time to get used to physical contact. The larger questions you have to answer for yourself though, and taking everything into account, is where do you stand on all of this. How do you feel about giving it a further chance? Is there potential for the relationship to develop?
Thanks everyone, advice is golden for me right now I'm gonna continue with him and see how things are by the end of the school year. I'm not daring enough to kiss him on the cheek... I'd rather he initiated D= I'm gonna talk to him about the physical stuff like real soon, I wonder how it'll turn out =S
Ya know, there's a good chance he's freaking out too because you're not touchy enough, and he also just wants a boyfriend who will initiate physical contact, kissing, et cetera. Just something to keep in mind.
I dont think its an real relationship. U and him are better off as friends. I kbow as havean experience Of what u put up with. In fact if I was in your shoes I will dump him.
Neither of you seem to want to commit to this relationship very much from what I've read... Try talking things out to see where it leads, and to find out what both of you want in this relationship (whether you can or cannot fulfill those expectations might matter)... Physical intimacy won't happen if neither of you wants to bother making the first move, someone's gotta do it, maybe you should Whether he reciprocates or not might be a different matter (as in: he's not that into you) That's what I think, at least :\
