Getting over him

Hi everyone, just wanted to get this off my chest and see what others had to think. So I guess I'll start at the beginning, this started a few months ago. I had a crush on this guy and spent weeks trying to meet him. He's openly gay and friendly to others so I didn't have much trouble talking to him. I tried many time hinting that I liked him but I don't think it ever worked so I decided to just come out and ask him on a date. He said yes and I think we had a nice time.

Well the trouble started after that. We never talked that much before since we were always busy and didn't see each other too often but after our date we stopped talking all together. A week later he starts dating someone else... Now I can understand if he wasn't interested in me, it happens, but it really hurt that he just stopped talking to me (he was the first guy I told I was bi and the first person I've been on a date with). I was angry at him but I tried to staying polite when around him. He wasn't saying anything to me during this time even when I did see him which bothered me more. Eventually I sent him a message asking why we stopped talking and if we could at least be friends. His reply was that he had always said something to me and I never responded so he thought I was mad at him. At this point he had broken up with the other guy, so my message wasn't sent at a good time (maybe a week after the broke up) but I had said I wasn't looking at a second date or anything, which I wasn't.

I'm near sighted (and don't wear my glasses that much) so what he's saying could be true if he was far enough away. I just didn't recognize him. So now we're "friends" but we don't see each other much. Even though I don't like that right now that's not what I have a problem with. It's that my feelings for him haven't gone away and that they come back everytime he's brought up in conversation. I understand those feeling won't just go away and have been trying to put them aside and get on with my life.

I'm trying not to let it get the best of me but everytime I hear that he's been spending a lot of time with another guy I admit, I get a little jealous. I hate that it gets to me even though mentally I've moved on. I think it's because I invested too much in something that didn't have much hope to begin with. I'm a little afraid too since there is another guy I like that I've been trying to meet. I'm afraid to get too involved too fast and have it turn out the same way. I'm also afraid that if something does happens between me and this new guy any talk of the old guy well bring those feeling back and mess with whatever relationship I have with the new guy.

Sorry for the long post but I guess I've held this in for a while now. Anything at all would be appreciated. Thanks.

 

Well at this point I'm not really sure I want to go out with him anymore. In my message I said that I liked him and enjoyed hanging out with him. I also told him that if he ever wanted to do something like that again to let me know, I'd be glad to. He replied that he wasn't looking for a bf right now but he was sorry I felt like he was ignored me.

Looking back, he never showed much interest at all. Before asking him out I tried to meet him to study together, to break the ice. He canceled 3 different times. After the date he said he was so busy he didn't want to get involved with anyone. He started dating someone a week later. After saying he wasn't looking for a bf I hear the he's been spending a lot of time with another guy. Now I'm not saying he's looking to date this guy but he doesn't hang around too many straight guys. Something that bothered me as well is that during the date he told me he doesn't think people can be bisexual and we're just in a "transitional phase" which I don't agree with.

You're right that I should talk to him directly. If you can tell I'm not the best at face-to-face conversations. I just really want to stop getting worked up over him and instead focus on this new guy.