Hey! im a 14 year old student in England, i've never been attracted to girls, but last year i started getting feelings towards boys. It's been about 10 months and nothing has changed. i have a few crushes and still find boys attractive. what ive noticed however is that the people in forums etc. seem to be coming out when they are like 17/18 years old, and once you are out of the closet you can't go back in. So this is my problem: im 15 very soon, never been attracted to girls, starting to feel more and more upset about no-one knowing, and want to burst out of the closet, if anything to tell this boy in my year, will, how i feel. could my feelings change? does anyone know of any cases where people who though they were gay and turned out not to be? Because it certainly doesn't feel like a phase. What im looking for is anyone out there who at one point was almost 100% they were gay and turned out not to be, because i dont want to be stuck labeled as something im not at school. ---- James (!) <--- why a dancing banana?? because i can x
Welcome to EC! The two main things to consider when deciding whether/when to come out are yourself, and your environment. First off, you. You seem pretty sure of your sexuality. There hasn't been a lot of "well, maybe" or doubt in your past, so I'd say you're on pretty solid ground there. Next, your surroundings. How are gays treated at your school? In your environment? How do your parents feel about gays? If all of these appear to be positive (or even neutral), then I'd say you're good to go. Lex
There's no set date in the imaginary QUILTBAGPIPE Manual for when to come out. Come out when you feel the time is right, when you are ready for people to know, and to react, negatively and positively. For me, I came out as bisexual at age 15, then I came out as a lesbian at age 18, then I came out as gender confused at 21. So its always growing and changing, and theres never one right way to do it. Good luck!
Well, at least from my experience once you are attracted to boys it doesn't suddenly change to girls. I had my first real crush on a boy when I was around 12 and since then I have always liked guys. I got a girlfriend at age 14 and we kissed and I felt nothing at all! So I broke up with her and I figured I was gay but I would never tell anyone. Then I went from like age 14-24 not dating anyone. At age 24 my parents pressured me to date this girl who was really interested in me (best friend of my cousin). She was really hot, we got along super well, and to boot she was a law intern right out of law school working in the building over from me - perfect. Except for when we were fooling around I would be thinking of a hot guy instead of her. So to make a long story short I broke up with her and told my parents I was gay and that was that. What I would have done if I could do it all over again is just go back and tell my parents "I think I'm gay" when I was 14. This way I would have had way less stress, avoiding all the lies and I might have actually had a boyfriend at some point. You don't need to tell everyone you are gay (it's a personal thing). My parents are very liberal so the gay thing would not have been a huge problem. My dad made gay jokes around me and that is one reason I didn't say anything, but really he just thought he was being funny, and maybe trying to discourage me from being gay (it was pretty obvious I was). If you think you might get kicked out of the house or severely punished that is the only reason I wouldn't tell them.
it has nothing to do with age, though unfortunatly some may not take it as seriously. it all has to do with you and your position on being out and the environment around you. either way good luck to you
My friend came out as a lesbian at about your age so really I don't think there is an age that it's right to come out. It's about how you feel and when you are comfortable with coming out and who you feel comfortable coming out to.
