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Depresion: no reasion behind it, but...

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Nerdtendo, Oct 31, 2007.

  1. Nerdtendo

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    I have been hideing this from everyone, but I feel depressed quite a bit. And by quite a bit, I mean all the time. I havent told my mother yet, but so far, she has offered twice to take me to a psycologist for help, both times I declined. I dont belive in any 'anti-depressent pills', so I dont wanna go to a doctor about it. I dont tell anyone becuse, in my head, bothering = bad. Anyway, I dono what to do...It's weird, becuse I cant reach out for help like others can...This is kinda the best I can do.
     
  2. Micah

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    Hang in there!

    Firstly you've taken a step in the right direction through reaching out about how you feel. Other than just feeling 'depressed', are there any other differences in your usual routine. Such as lack of appetite, not wanting to hang out with friends, being angrier towards people in your life etc.

    If so, I would certainly recommend talking to a psychologist, especially if your mother has offered. A psychologist (as opposed to a psychiatrist) is unable to prescribe medications to you, even if they wanted to, so there is no need to worry about them simply putting you on anti-depressants or other medication.

    A psychologist will initially be someone you can simply talk to about any problems you are experiencing, similar to a counsellor. They can help you with mental exercise to make you feel better, and it's all confidential.

    Without knowing a great deal about your situation its difficult to provide personal help, but even if you have a single person you can talk to, it makes a world of difference.
     
  3. davo-man

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    Well, first off, good on you for having the courage to come on here to talk about your depression. I know that takes guts, so yeah

    Also, do you have any ideas about why you are feeling how you are feeling? Is there anything that has dramatically changed in the recent past? Anything that could cause a different state of mind?...I dunno....

    I agree with Micah, perhaps seeing a psychologist would be good. As he said, there won't be any drugs from him/her. I agree with you too about the whole drug taking issue. I believe drugs don't always solve problems, just numb them. That said, I'm sure there are many cases where drugs are used well and successfully, but if you are so against drugs, then I don't think you should have to take them

    I hope you're feeling better soon, and keep on talking to us on here, cos I'm sure that will help a bit at least
     
  4. Samus610

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    I know how you are feeling. I went through the exact same thing, it affected my school work and how I acted around my friends, until I saw my psychologist. And talking to him about it really helped me and I haven't been depressed since. I highly suggest you talk about it with a psychologist or just to one of your friends because if you don't talk about it, your depression will only get worse. And I agree that you don't have to take anti-depressants and that you shouldn't because they may make you feel like you are happy but you really won't be. So over all I think you should talk to a psychologist and figure out why you are depressed and what you can do to stop your depression. I hope everything works out for you. (*hug*)
     
  5. Louise

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    I'm with the others on this. Well done for reaching out.

    Take up your mother's offer to see a psychologist, you may have to see several untill you find one that suits you, but that is normal. I fought depression alone for over 20 years untill a friend reached out and gently but firmly insisted that I get help... it has turned my life around. I laugh and smile now and that's something that 18 months ago was almost unheard of.

    There doesn't have to be a specific reason to be depressed, you can be in good health, have a loving family, loads of friends, financial security... everything and yet still feel alone and lonely. You can't just 'suck it up' or 'shake yourself out of it' it doesn't work like that.

    We most of us need help at some times in our lives. There is no longer the stigma about seeing a therapist that there was 20 or 30 years ago. This is your life, you have a right to be happy and a therapist with almost certainly help you with this.

    Good luck :kiss:
     
  6. Jim1454

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    You're certainly not alone. I suffer from depression once in a while - ocassionally it is quite severe. Seeing a therapist or counsellor of some kind really helped me. I'm hoping it will help you too.

    I know you say that you don't believe in taking pills, but I question what that belief is based on. I hadn't either, but in my darkest hour, I felt like I'd take any help that was offered. I realized that they could make a HUGE difference in my ability to get better and deal with the challenges I was facing at the time (coming out, separating from my wife, dealing with my addiction). I hope they aren't a 'forever' solution, but they have really helped turn my life around. You might want to consider the possibility - not rule them out completely.

    And "bothering people = bad" - I can totally relate. I feel that way, especially when I'm depressed. I don't feel 'worthy' of anyone's help. But turn the situation around... If someone you loved or cared about was in trouble, wouldn't you want to help them? Wouldn't it make you feel good to make a difference in their life? I think the answer is yes. So let other people help you. You're not bothering them. You're giving them the opportunity to help, and in turn they'll feel better along with you!

    I hope this helps. We're all here for you as well!
     
  7. muhamo

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    Exercise or sports may help, your body produces endorphins, also known as happy cells.
    Even just a walk or a jog to make you get your mind off things.
     
  8. xequar

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    Bravo for reaching out. It's a very important first step.

    Like many others here, I've battled depression from time to time, and I've found that some simple things can go a long way to helping combat it.

    First, get enough sleep. Sleep deprivation can contribute to depression. Try going to bed earlier and stuff if you need to.

    Next, keep a journal. But, instead of just noting the events of the day, take note of your emotional state. What things happened and how did you react to them? Consider it from a sort of analytical perspective. At the very least, it helps avoid bottling up whatever is troubling you, and as you get into the habit of doing it, you might start to see some common themes or otherwise pick up on some clues as to what's bothering you.

    Also, and it was suggested above, get some exercise. If you're really starting to feel kind of crappy, go out for a long walk. I find that, beyond the biochemical effects of exercise, a long walk also puts me into a very introspective headspace, and I'll start to really ponder things and figure out what's going on. It may sound weird, but it really can help.

    And of course, we EC'ers are more than happy to listen and to offer whatever input we are able. If you need anything, feel free to drop me a pm, also. (*hug*)
     
  9. SpikySpice

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    At your age, most people alwyas feel depressed, include me, all the time.But you should listen to people sugggesting above

    You know you should tell your mom or someone near you, they all love you and telling them dosent mean you are bothering them\

    I feel depressed everyday, just for no reason, manyly I got moodswing and really bother me, because Im at the growing age so that is normal. I especially feel really sad when the sun gose down but feel little bit better when teh moon comes up

    From my experienece, telling soemoen how you feel will reduce your depression or stress. Do not let the depression over power you, it may becoem really dangerous to some poepl taht they can not control their minds so you really need to tell someoen to support you.
     
  10. xxAngelOnFirexx

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    the best thing you can do is to see a therapist and get on meds. no other method will work and denying it is only prolonging your misery. i know tons of people who are helped everyday from anti-depressants and how people can be cured by therapy alone.
    don't deny yourself the privialge of feeling happy. go get help right away!
     
  11. budhead

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    I had a very serious depression when I was 22 for no reason. I was always sad, tired and slept most of the time. I was dead to the world. My family doctor said I was physically fine but then referred me to a psychologist. I'm so grateful that he did.

    I was very healthy and exercised a lot. Had a great new career and was paid very well. So why was I depressed? Everything was going my way.

    I saw a psychologist and he did prescribe medication for me. Talking with him and with the pills helped turn my life around. I'm 43 now, and never had the same problem again.

    I hear that depression can simply be caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain. The medication may help fix this. I wouldn't discount medication coupled with therapy. I think it was lithium that I was given. Here's a link about lithium: http://www.psycheducation.org/depression/meds/lithium.html

    Please don't resist getting the help you need. You deserve to be happy and there's no shame in getting help. It's not your fault. It saved my life!

    I sure hope that you get the help that you need to get better.
     
    #11 budhead, Nov 1, 2007
    Last edited: Nov 1, 2007
  12. Nerdtendo

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    thanks guys for the imput. but perhaps 'bothering' was the wrong word. it's kinda more like 'worrying' in the equasion...I hate makeing worry-worts. ...and on sevrual ocasions, more then half of the time, things get screwed up becuse I put in some imput of my own iniciative.
     
  13. 24601

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    Well, I guess I haven't really posted this on these forums yet, but... some of you might remember a while back I posted about antidepressants. I felt as many of you do, that they don't solve problems, and that the happiness gained from taking them would be artificial. I was worried about all the side-effects, and overall thought that taking meds was a bad idea. (My thread was here: http://www.emptyclosets.com/forum/showthread.php?t=3123)

    After the urging of friends and some people on here (the people in that thread and SG and Derek), I decided to go to talk with my doctor about it. He put things in a way which made me feel a little better about it. He compared to other illnesses, like headaches. Everyone gets headaches on and off, that usually pass with a short amount of time and are not big problems. Some people, on the other hand, get headaches much more often. So, these people go to the doctor and talk to him about it, and the doctor will generally diagnose them with some form of illness or condition that's affecting their head, and will prescribe medication for them, like medicine for migraines or the like. In many ways, taking an anti-depressant is no different. Everyone does get sad every once in a while, yet when you're feeling even more sad than others, when you feel like you can't escape from the depression, and when your depression is making a serious impact on your life, then something is obviously not right. Just like you would go get medicine for headaches, you can also go get medicine for depression. There's something wrong with your brain chemistry, which the anti-depressants fix (assuming the doctor diagnoses this, again just like the headache example).

    After my doctor told me this, he suggested that I first see a psychologist. The psychologist agreed that antidepressants might help. So, they were prescribed.

    And I can honestly say, that they do make a remarkable difference. Right now, I'm still on a relatively low dose. I can honestly say, though, that I haven't been getting depressed quite as often as I used to. It takes something seriously bad to make me feel the way I used to feel every night. I can't say the psychologist does a whole lot for me - not his fault, but I'm just not very good at... that whole scene, you could say. Yet, I'm sure it's the combination of the two that's really made my life look up quite a bit.

    The happiness doesn't feel fake. The mood isn't fake. The medicine addresses a specific medical problem and corrects it. Whether you can see it now (I couldn't until I started taking them) or not, I highly suggest you swallow your (somewhat baseless) ideas about the medicines and talk to your doctor about them.

    They don't have to be a permanent solution. But, they are very helpful in getting you to the point where you can cope on your own, or where the depression does not overrun everything else in your life. Honestly, looking back, I can say that my pride of keeping "natural" and off the medicine was worth sacrificing for the happiness I can now experience on a regular basis.
     
  14. TeeBe

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    I am the only person in my household who hasn't been hospitilized for depression-related complications (need more detail there??). As much as medicines may feel artificial, they help. Alot.

    It sounds to me like your part of your opinion might be based on the way that anti-depressants were a few short years ago. They used to basically be mood mediators- you chemically couldn't feel sad, and when you were happy, you were upset because you couldn't really reach that "old" happy. Happy and sad, up and down, everything was carefully mediated.

    But of course, things change.

    Todays drugs are alot better. Look around EC- how many people have benefited from a little medical help? They can help with your mood, sleep patterns, appetite...

    Please, at least try talking to your doctor. There are specific meds for their own respective issues. They aren't generic "all or none" meds any more. Talking to your doctor is no-commitment.

    Depression is a disease. Help is there. Feel free to PM if you want to chat.