I'm a girl who likes girls and boys (I frame it as liking 'people'). I'm fairly comfortable with my sexuality, and I'm out to my friends and immediate family. My problem is that I have no girl gaydar. None. My guy gaydar is bang-on, but I swear to God it's like lesbians are invisible to me or something :rolle: This is compounded by the fact that I tend to like girls who are pretty femme, so I can't even do a "short hair, check, leather jacket, check, drinking beer, check... probably gay" list for myself. So, I'm asking: how do I tell if a girl that I'm eyeing would be interested, without introducing myself with "Hello, I'm Missyhelena, and by the way I LIKE FANNY!" How do I tell if a girl is properly flirting, and when it's just normal straight girl friendly pats on the shoulder? Maybe I should resort to notes .... "IMPORTANT do you like me circle YES/NO"
I think everyone goes through this kind of thing. Both of my girlfriends were pretty feminine so they didn't completely register on my gaydar. One had a rainbow wallet, that's how I figured her out. But the second one, I had no idea that she was bisexual until she told me (I had suspicions because she was fairly handsy with her female friends, but obviously that's not always a good indicator). I think you become more, inclined, toward who's gay and who isn't the more you're around gay people. Also, if a girl is really flirting with you she'll most likely make it obivous, such as commenting on your apperance in a way no straight girl would. Such as, "You are really hot (beautiful, cute, etc.)." A straight girl might say, "Your outfit looks cute," or, "You look cute." But she's probably going to direct it at your outfit or an accessory you're carrying. Not what you look like. Also, if the girl repeats herself about it. A straight girl isn't going to keep talking about how good you look. Also, if a girl is out she'll probably be more up front with her sexuality. Girls in the closet are more likely to veil their flirtation. And if they can't be up front and honest with you, why would you want to be a relationship with them? Finally, body language will tell a lot about a person. When she talks to girls does she lean toward them? Does she put her hands on her hips and stand up taller? Or does she just stand there like she's waiting in line at the DMV? Subconciously people tend to change their body language when they're interested in someone. So try to pay attention to that. And if she puts her hand on your arm or shoulder and leaves it there, well I'd say that's a pretty solid indicator. Just relax and you'll be okay. Eventually your gaydar will receive some tuning. We all have to start somewhere (*hug*)
Story of my life, girl. I think the best way to know is to just be upfront with /your/ sexuality and then hope that if they're interested they'll be upfront with theirs. Or check facebook.
OH gosh. I have the same problem. It's definitely a problem since I'm pretty much ONLY into girls. I just try to surround myself with lots of people from the LGBT community (groups, clubs etc) and then the odds of the girls I meet being also into girls is much higher.
I'm also the exact same way when it comes to guys. I like the more masculine ones but unless they say something I can never tell, heck I sometimes have trouble with the stereotypical acting guys. :lol: I'd say go with what the others are saying. There are some signs that tell if she's interested and over time you'll be able to pick up on them better. Don't sweat it too much it'll get better.
