I met this guy online. He seems really nice and I've talked to him on the phone and I've seen pictures of him and we text each other but we want to meet up. I was thinking the mall because it's public and loaded with security guards. He suggested the zoo and asked if I could pick him up because he has no car. I declined. I told y'all about the last time I had someone in the car I didn't know super well. After I declined he suggested I come to his place to hang out which seems super risky to me. He's 6 inches taller than me and 100 lbs bigger so I would have like no chance. I was thinking I could pick bring two friends along if I do pick him up. Or tell him to take a cab and I'll pay the fare. Idk I'm super conflicted. Suggestions?
Stick to your guns. I have heard horror stories of people meeting up that first met on the internet. I fully understand that not everyone is a creeper, but still take the precaution like he could be. Have him take a cab and let someone know where you are going and who you are meeting. See if someone (or a group of people) could be in the area and you have a code word that you text them if you need immediate bail out. Like text them "i like smurfs" and that will cue them to text you back some lie and be like, "I need a ride my car broke down on the interstate" so you have an excuse to leave. IMO always have an out if the situation does not go as planned.
I've gone on dates with girls I've met online all the time as well as a couple of guys. My current hopeful girlfriend I met online. But, I'd say be extra careful. Do they have facebook? I know this is an odd question, but I always make sure the girls or guys I meet do. That's really hard to fake. It also guarantees that they are who they say they are. With a guy (I know this is sexist, but it's sexist against ourselves) especially meet in public for the first time. A guy I had a first "date" with, but turned out to be platonic, asked if I would come to his house for dinner since he didn't have money to grab drinks - didn't exactly feel comfortable with that as the first time, so we just decided on meeting somewhere publicly where not a lot of money was involved. I'd say it's safe to pick him up, just don't go somewhere you're not comfortable with. Having people around is key. Friends there? Just think that might restrict.
I'm with TraceElement. For a first-time meeting, I think your idea of meeting at the mall is good, though the zoo is probably just about as good and probably more interesting. I wouldn't be offering to pay his cab fare though, unless your financial situation is much, much better than his; if it's important to him, he'll find a way. One other possibility: Perhaps there's a safe space in close enough walking distance from his house where you could meet. A starbucks, a city park, something like that. You could meet there and after you've spoken with him for a while, if you feel comfortable, you can then go in your car somewhere else.
We decided to go out to eat at a restaurant close to his house and he's going to walk and meet me there. I still haven't met him yet in person but at least he doesn't sound anything like a creepy old man! The day after we eat I might go chill at his place. I'm not sure about that one though. If I do I'll probably bring a friend if he's cool with that. Idk. I actually on one side of my brain feel fine hanging out at his house right off the bat or giving him a ride to dinner. But another side of my little noggin is paranoid that he's an axe murderer or something secretly. Lol.
I like the idea of meeting at a restaurant close to his house. Afterwards, if you like the vibe, sure - go home with him. If you're even slightly unsure, maybe go to a coffee shop or park or something and chat some more. Lex
I say if you're interested that it's worth the time spent getting to know him away from his home. You definitely want to make sure that it's a safe situation and I think it takes more than a dinner to find that out...listen to your little noggin that voice is meant to be heard!
I'm kind of almost not too keen on the whole even meeting him. I mean twice he's tried to get you to do things that place you at risk. First was asking to drive him, and second to ask you to come to his place. I mean this is just me being a little paranoid perhaps, but if you're sure on meeting him, be in a very public place, I like the mall because if you get in trouble you can basically shout at the top of your lungs and people will come, including security. Good luck either case.
