About a week ago, I came out to a friend of mine, who I was also harboring feelings for, and I don't think it went very well. Sadly, this was all through texts, but I had to get it off my chest right away, or else, I would've lost the nerve. A little backstory first: I always assumed my friend was straight although we never really spoke about the opposite sex at all (7 years of friendship), and he's very into himself - meaning introverted, not many friends (similar to me, I guess). Nevertheless, I learned not to make assumptions that anyone is gay unless he or she TELLS me otherwise. Anyway the text message exchange went sorta like this: Me: I need to tell you something.. Him: Go ahead Me: I've had feelings for you for about a year. I know the feelings aren't mutual, but I feel like our friendship deserves some type of honesty, and I think this will be the only way I can get over it. Him: So you're saying you're gay? I could deal with you being gay, but quite frankly, I am straight, and I don't know what I did to make you think otherwise. This last response kinda struck a nerve with me for some reason. I never made a mention of his own sexuality, and I also made sure to say that I knew the feelings weren't mutual. Deep down in my irrational mind, I had hoped that they were, but my logic knew better. I expected the rejection, that's fine, but I would rather hear you say "I don't care about you being gay" than saying "I could deal with it". I don't know if I am misinterpreting it a little, but it kinda stung. A lot. What makes things even worse is that, since then, we haven't had any contact at all. I just wanted to get over what I felt for him, but not at the expense of our friendship. This sucks. A lot. Did I misinterpret anything here?
Um...I don't think you misinterpreted anything. Since it was through text...a lot of things could be lost in between (like how he 'said' it). You might want to talk to him again sometime soon. Since he's...introverted it might take some time for him to digest the information?
That's actually a pretty common response for many guys out there. They want to make sure you KNOW that they are straight. Quite ridiculous haha same reason why so many straight men say "no homo" after anything that MIGHT be taken wrong xD You have to understand his confusion. You have had time to deal with your sexuality, but this is a surprise for him. Probably just laugh it off and tell him that you never thought otherwise. Maybe try to change the conversation from you liking him to just coming out to him. Not the worst response in the world though so cheer up
You can't expect a golden response from any given person. Obviously some people are better responding then others, but that's just human nature. Even some people I know are perfectly accepting, but when I was telling them for the first time, they were totally fine with it, but they reacted in a way I wasn't happy with, or in a way that was awkward.
