first post, sorry if it's a long read. i'm bisexual; i just officially realized it about a month and a half ago. i had always kind of known it though. in elementary school, i was a major tomboy. i still am not very feminine. the only times i feel naturally feminine are when i'm: a) kissing a boy, or b) shaving my legs. lol. so i know for a fact that i like boys but i'm 99% positive i'm attracted to girls as well. actually that might as well be a 100%, because i have a crush on a girl at my school...she's a year older than i am, she's as straight as an arrow (but has the experimental personality, therefore i still have a flicker of hope :icon_bigg), she has a boyfriend, and she's the hottest person i know. all the adults i've talked to about this say to take things gradually because it might be a phase (i'm sixteen). i've told four friends and some family members so far and i was wondering whether i'm taking things too fast. i understand that this could all be just a phase, or i might even be a straight up lesbian (don't really care either way); the thing i really hate most about this whole thing is the fact that i can't just say, ok i'm bisexual forever, it's official. i'm not good at just letting things be unknown or unsure. but obviously things can change.... so i was wondering how long it can be between realizing that you're LGTB and then fully coming out of the closet. i know it varies, but is a month and a half just not enough time to be confident about what i'm feeling? i'm trying to treat this as casually as possible...but i feel like i don't know what's inside of me, especially since my mom's reaction when i came out was "you don't know what you're feeling. it's probably just a phase, ignore it and do your homework" (she voted yes on prop 8, she probably can't stand the thought of having anything but straight children ) any advice would be helpful. thanks for reading.
Its taken me years to be accepting of the fact that I like girls. First time I realized I might be gay, I was eight and it was like a smack in the face. I know its hard, but try not to let what your mom said determine how you feel about yourself. Just go with your feelings. Words-labels- don't mean nearly as much as how you feel on the inside.
It took me about three years to come out as bisexual. Part of this was my home life (my dad was abusive and very close-minded). But when I came out at school I did it all at once. I made a speech to my english class proclaiming my sexuality. I was a hero for about a week. However, I had a strong support base in my close friends and crushes lol. But coming out is not a race, so take it at your own pace. If you're sure, and you want to come out then do it. It's your life. I knew when I was twelve. I came out fully when I was fifteen. But it took me a while because I struggled with acceptance from my family. You're not alone, but just remember that your coming out journey is personalized and it's up to you when and how you want to do it.
If you're feelin' it, keep on keepin' on. That's my feelings on coming out. I IDed as bi for six years and then realized that I'm gay. As soon as the realization hit me and I knew it felt right, I was out ALL OVER THE PLACE. It took me about a month and half to get it all out there. If you're feeling like this is you and you want to share it, then by all means, do what you need to do.
I've spent years coming to terms with being gay, and now I don't care how It looks to other people. Like some others I spent some years telling myself I was bi and even got myself into a relationship with a woman, funny thing about that is shes glad it happened like that because shes getting married this year and said she wouldn't of found her future husband if it wasn't for me. Like others, I have a strong base of friends and family who are there for me despite my sexuality being different to theirs. It was easy for me to come out to these people even though I had the normal fears. I wouldn't advise that you just throw yourself out there without looking at the surrounding people first, you need to know for your own sake that you are going to be okay no matter what the outcome from coming out is. Take things slowly like people have said, theres no rush and you have life to get used to yourself and find out who you are(and thats for everything, not just your sexuality).
In very few cases is it only a phrase. Most straight can't understand these things, so aren't the best on giving that particular sort of advice. It would be a good idea to try to educate them on this, she wants you to be open-minded about being straight, so she should be open-minded enough to read some pamphlets or online literature. The time it takes really varies so much between different people that there's no generic right time period. Take it in your own times, depending on your friends and family, but you should also keep an eye out for local support groups.
