Depression is the condition that causes a person to feel depressed- it isn't the depressed feeling itself. We can feel depressed for a number of valid reasons- the loss of a loved one, being in a lousy financial situation, poor health, losing a good friendship, being betrayed, having people try and hurt us, being in terrible pain- without ever really being in a state of depression. You're in a state of depression only when the length of time that you feel miserable exceeds a reasonable time frame and the depth of your mental anguish goes beyond a normal "I really feel bad." The truth is- we're supposed to feel bad when certain things happen so feeling depressed is often a natural response to the situationss we find ourselves in. When a person says, "I'm not sure why I feel so miserable" that's a great indicator that they might be suffering from depression. Depression is often brought on by unfortunate life situations, by the person making a series of poor choices that are made worse by time, by not knowing how to handle stress, by not knowing how to meet one's own emotional needs and by being too centered on self. But ultimately the core problem with depression is brain chemicals. That's why medication is so important in treating depression. Discovering that you're gay doesn't cause depression at all. But...it may cause the person to feel depressed because they suddenly realize they are under lots of new stress because of society's general condemnation of homosexuality. You might feel depressed (or angry) when a friend dumps you for being gay. You might feel depressed when people make cutting, cruel remarks. You might feel depressed when a minister you admired says something about your choosing to be gay when you know that's not the case at all. But all of that feeling depressed isn't actually depression unless it makes you so miserable you're not able to cope or if you're simply unable to let go of it. It's very difficult to determine if a teenager is suffering from depression because with all their body changes their emotions are like a roller coaster. It's less likely that a teenager needs medication for their depressed state than an adult because the teenager's more likely to be "going through a phase." They are more likely to respond to good counseling because they are less set in their ways. It's only when the teenager is unresponsive to advice, when they're motivation to improve vanishes or when they are feeling self destructive that one can be sure their problem is of a more serious nature. A teenager is far more likely to commit suicide over a breakup than an adult or to decide they simply can't go on living after a particular failure- so for that reason many therapists and parents want to get them on medication before something drastic happens. So that's the catch-22 with teenagers: they are more likely to get better without medication than an adult- but more likely to act on an impulse and really damage themselves. Here are some things to consider: It's important to realize that getting down on yourself is effective only to the extent that it motivates you to improve your behavior. Beating yourself up over mistakes generally only makes you feel bad about yourself. It's good to analyze your behavior to see what you can do different in the future. It's also important to realize that every mistake brings with it the gain of a new experience and the potential for greater wisdom. Calming yourself through breathing exercises, prayer and meditation, soothing music and exercise is always good. Talking to yourself outloud and telling yourself that you can handle it as well as what you need to do to handle it can be helpful. Let go to the extent that you don't dwell too long or too intensely on what's bothering you. Too much focusing on the problem can easily make the problem worse. Don't judge yourself or allow the judgments of others to effect you to too great an extent. For example, say I am having this problem rather than saying I'm no good. You can have a serious problem, make a terrible mistake but still be a wonderful person. Forgive yourself quickly and gracefully and don't define yourself by the mistake or the problem. Remember that you've got a lifetime to work out your problems- that problems are a natural thing that nobody can ever quite eliminate. Many great people from Martin Luther King, Jr to Abraham Lincoln suffered from bouts of depression. If you happen to be one of them, you're in good company!
Thanks Tim. I hope people find this helpful. I would add (as it has been written in other threads) that getting some physical activity - even if you don't feel like it, especially if you don't feel like it - can be very effective in reducing stress and producing the 'feel good' chemicals that the brain needs to feel better.
