So me and my boyfriend have been going out for 2 years now, although we have known each other ever since we were little. Whatever I'm getting off track, both of our parents are very conservative Christians and despise gay people. My family is starting to get around the idea of accepting for people who they are, my mom and dad are going to my cousin's wedding in a week. My cousin is gay and a active speaker for the LGBT community, so its good to know that my parents may accept for who I am. The problem lies in my boyfriend's family, they have threatened him and his sister multiple times that if they become gay they will throw them out the house and be cut off from their family. We both want to ell our families together but both of us fear the consequences that are parents may do. Please help I need some advice on what to do.
Hi there, and welcome to EC. I've already typed this today, but I'll type it again. People generally come out when the potential benefits of coming out are greater than the potential negative implications. In this case, the potential negative implications are still pretty severe. You don't say how old you are, but I'm assuming your boyfriend isn't yet ready to be thrown out of the house. So perhaps it's not the right time for him to come out to his parents. Your parents, on the other hand, if they are attending your gay cousin's wedding, might be ready to hear this news about you. And having one set of parents on board would certainly be better than having none. Your boyfriend might find some comfort and support in your parents' acceptance, given he currently feels quite isolated (I'm sure) from his own family right now. So it's tough to say. I'm sorry you're not in a better situation. Southern, conservative Christians aren't the easiest to get along with if you're gay. The other suggestion I'd make is for your boyfriend to also hang out here. What support and validation he doesn't get from his parents he would get here. It isn't the same, of course, but again it's better than nothing. He needs to know that it's OK to be gay. Gay people can be just as awesome (if not more so! :icon_wink) than straight people, and he is NOT 'less than' or in any way deffective. I worry that having parents like that could make a person feel that way, which is a real tragedy.
If his parents have said they'll kick him out of the house if he "becomes" gay, then it's best to assume that that's the case. So as long as he's relying on them for his bread and cheese, it's best that he keep his orientation (and relationship) a secret. And, of course, this means he should work on getting himself to self-sufficient status as soon as possible. Lex
Thank You guys for some advice, the problem with him coming to this site is that he will have to come over my house to go on it. His family has only one computer and his parents check it all the time, he just got a facebook, his parents didn't want him to have it but they reluctantly said yes, and go on his page to see what he has said and stuff. Now were both 18 and leaving for college and both going to the same school, which very good to know. He's just afraid right now if he tells his parents that they won't give him any money for college.
