I guess I'll provide an update to the previous two threads, trying to get to know a friend as more than just a friend. After trying to get together with him again, and after having had bad communication and miscommunication, I decided to give it another shot (and I actually went against the advice of some of my friends on this one). So I called him up and asked him if he would like to get together over the weekend. However, he mentioned that he doesn't have time to get together as he will be pretty busy and that part of his family will come for a visit the next weekend. For the first time we actually had awkward moments where we didn't say anything, and it was clear where the conversation was heading. After that, I started thinking about this response: and I do agree that, yes, I missed an opportunity. I guess hindsight is always 20/20. It isn't the first time that this happened to me, or where I realize after someone tells me something what it all means. Well, once I realize it, it is too late. That quote actually does comes true. On the one hand, I'm angry with myself for not having seen this and responded earlier. I had two perfect opportunities to respond and to take some initiative too. At the moment, I wish I would have responded to two questions that he asked me differently or said something that at least would have kept things going. On the other, I know that I shouldn't because I have at least tried it. This is one of these times, where I really wish I could follow my own advice, and not hold back or do or say the wrong things. Oh well.
life is full of "what if" moments, and hindsight is 20/20, but you can't change the past, just the future, learn from the experience, and move on to your next adventure
You can say "what if" to yourself over and over and over again, but in the end, where does that get you? Absolutely nowhere. Clearly, anything happening wasn't meant to be (and given how it was going to be long-distance to begin with, it isn't a great starting point). If it was a missed opportunity (and an opportunity for a LDR isn't missing much), he is equally responsible for it. Don't feel too bad about it, there will be others. Moreover, don't think that you will always say the wrong things; if you be yourself and say what you mean, you will be successful. (*hug*)
You know what I say about situations like this, Mirk. Take your lessons, but face forward. If you keep looking backward, you're gonna miss the next opportunity. Lex
Mirk, we are constantly looking back and trying to summarize what if we did not miss the opportunity. But the truth is, no matter how blind impulsive feelings make us, the sober evaluation does happen at one point or another. And all you will have at that time is whether the two of you will have had more memories of good moments than bad moments. But you have not even had any bad moments before he judged and pulled back, so I'd say this is a strong indication that it wouldn't have been a good idea anyway. Let us not dwell on it, and as Lexington said, start our next adventure.
Thanks everyone! (*hug*) Well, after taking a break yesterday and hanging out with a couple of friends, I feel differently about it already. Thinking about it, the good thing that came out of it is that I did a couple of things that I have never done before, which is something to take forward. In the meantime, I have signed up for a photography club and a book club in town to get to know some more people. Well, I have sort off started working on the looking forward part. I signed up with a dating website, even though I'm not too comfortable with it at the moment. At least it got me two hugs from friends and a "finally, you have done it!" Oh, and by doing that, I inspired another friend of mine to sign up too! :lol:
Good things do happen when we face the world with positivity The workings of karma will propagate your positivity to brighten the lives of others as well! Congratz!
