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Should I tell him everything?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Samus610, Nov 2, 2007.

  1. Samus610

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    I have a really nice boyfriend named Jason, who I have been best friends with since 6th grade and we have been dating for two months, who is really sweet and cares about me. But the thing is I'm afraid tell him certain things that I want to. When I told him about my friend, who also has an account on this website but will remain anonymous, and how I have told him everything that there is to know about me and my past. And I literally mean everthing. He asked me why my friend who I have only known for a year knows more about me than anyone I know, where he has known me for at least 6 years, and only knows 1/4 of what my friend does. But I guess I am afraid because I don't know if Jason will either get scared and want nothing to do with me or he will accept everything that I tell him and continue to be there for me. I was even afraid to tell him that I was depressed because I was afraid that would change how he acted around me, he doesn't even know that I ever was. But what I want to tell him isn't like horrible. It's not like I'm going to tell him that I killed a guy. I just want him to know everything. Because I don't want to hide things from him. Like about my father and when I was little or like certain things that affected my life, both good and bad. And I might have him come over to my house tomorrow. But should I tell him everything? Please if anyone has any advice please tell me:help: .
     
  2. biisme

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    have you told him anything before that you were worried about? if so, how did he react then? if you want to tell him, maybe you should start with small steps and not tell him everything at once. you can see how he reacts to some of it.
     
  3. Samus610

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    Well when I told him that I was bi he seemed pretty okay with it. He just turned to me and said "Oh. Ok." Literally. He didn't freak out or anything.
     
  4. biisme

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    he sounds lik a good guy. i can't tell you what to do but u should just go with ur instinct.
     
  5. Samus610

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    Ok. Thanks for the help.
     
  6. biisme

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    i hope it goes well for u! keep us posted!
     
  7. Samus610

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    Ok. I will. :grin:
     
  8. Revealed

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    I think that being open and honest is important in a relationship as it will build trust and a greater level of understanding between the two of you. If I were with someone, I would like to know how they are feeling and to be comfortable in the fact they would talk to me if they have any concerns.

    In saying that, it all depends on whether you feel comfortable discussing these things with him. If you really want to tell him, but are uncertain of his reaction, maybe just tell him a few things firstly to see how things go. If he's ok and supportive, then maybe talk to him further.

    I would say if you have known him for a long time and he was ok with finding out you're bi, he should be fine. And it sounds as though he is wants to find out more about you and is interested in talking.
     
  9. Ashabi

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    Is the stuff you want to tell him strictly confidential? I'd assume so if you're so hesitant to share them with him.
    So, can you trust him with secrets? You're going out with him, which means that although you don't have to tell him everything, you should be able to trust him a good deal.
    It's good he didn't freak out when you told him you're bi... Take little steps and see how he goes.
     
  10. Samus610

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    I just told my boyfriend about when I was depressed during october and he was happy that I was telling him this. And he was happy that my depression was over. I told him "I thought if I told you you would get scared" He basically said that I listened to him when he talked to me about his problems and such and that now he was going to listen to me. And he understood. I'm just so happy! :grin:
     
  11. Ashabi

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    That's a really good outcome. I'm so happy for you!
    He sounds like a great guy.

    *hugs*
    *high 5*