how do you come out and not worry about other people's reactions?

I don't really think there is anyone who has come out and didn't worry about how people would react. I was in the closet for 13 years because I was afraid of losing my family.

Eventually, though, you get to the point where you just want to be happy. The closet isn't a healthy place for anyone. It limits your experiences to this tiny speck. I felt like I hadn't lived at all until I came out. You just have to take a deep breath and take the plunge.

 

You don't. You're going to worry - I think everybody does to some extent. The key is to do it regardless.

Lex

 

I agree that you will worry, but I believe the more you accept yourself as you are and the more you look out for your own well-being, the less of a concern it will be.

 

Ultimately, I came out because I felt like my friends deserved to know I was gay. It was an important aspect of my identity, and they deserved to know it. IOW, I'd've felt shitty not telling them. Which doesn't mean I didn't worry. I worried like hell that my best friend in high school would reject me.

 

I agree that it is better to tell your friends and family. It's much better than surprising them later with a same-sex partner.

 

I stoped caring when I realized that I want to be able to talk about any and all of my crushes in front of my coworkers, and that I just want to be me without having to front all the time. Does this mean that they all know? No. I have slowly stopped caring if people overhear me and someone who knows talking about whatever. People will find out eventually, and although now I wish everyone knew I am bi, I also realize it is still a process, and I have become more confident in who I truly am, and know that in time everyone will know.

 

I was worried when coming out because of the oldschool stigmas and stereotypes that people label gay/bisexual people with, and my Mum had made some homophobic comments in the past. Coming out is that one thing I had to do to regain some of my happiness and self respect, the more I pretended to people the more I dug a massive hole of sadness for myself. After coming out to my family nothing much changed, they still love me like they did before and I have become a more confident person because of it. I think my parents are more understanding of gays now they have one as a son, when I came out they had to seek help from friends who told them "so what, hes gay but hes still your son" and other things like that.

Apart from my family and friends who I care for, no ones opinion actually matters. One person even changed their opinion on gays raising kids and tells me that I would make a good Dad someday, having friends like this is also a massive confidence booster. I no longer care who knows, whether its me who tells them or someone else.

You need to make sure that you are 100% ready to come out, even if its going to be difficult to say that one little phrase "I'm gay/lesbian/bisexual". Whether the reactions are good or bad, you have to know that you are doing the right thing for yourself in coming out to the world. Anybody who is going to make an issue of your sexuality is not worth your time, theres more to you then that one thing.

 

Tell the people who matter to you when you are good & ready. For anyone else, it shouldn't really be relevant. I am debating whether to tell my mom & bros (I'm an adult so getting kicked out/disowned is not a threat). The fact is, we don't normally discuss our sex lives... so it would kind of be out of nowhere... When I leave my husband I will tell them, because then it becomes essential information. My daughter will need to be told before then so she can deal with one shock at a time. Hubby already knows. Once the important people know, there will be nothing anyone can hold over my head so I don't really care what the general population thinks or says. But I'm a small-town girl and have become desensitized to being talked about :/

 

When I came out to my first coworker, I was very nervous, but I also knew he would be cool with it.
The people you come out to that support you and and still consider you their friend after you come out to them are the people you need to surround yourself with and tell first. They will be your support network when you come out to people who are not as accepting, or are leery about the LGBT community and do not quite understand the community.

 

Personally I felt that it was right to let my family know before I found any potential boyfriends, I wouldn't want to be announcing that I have a boyfriend before they knew I was gay because it may of upset them from finding out that way. Be vigilant of those you speak to online, I know not everyones out to cause harm/hurt but just make sure you really know who you're talking to. I've actually met 2 people I spoke to online (not for dating or through dating sites) and they've been nice people but I practically knew their lives before I met up with them.