I'm in love with my best friend. It hurts. Should I tell him? Or should I just try to forget? I've been thinking about this and I'm 98% sure that he is straight and telling him would do nothing but harm. Still, nothing could possibly be worse than this horrid feeling.
If you know he's straight, then it really isn't worth it. If you really care about him and want him to stay in your life, move on.
I would try to move on as soon as possible. I genuinely fell in love with one of my best friends before, and it took me almost 4 years to get over him, simply because I kept wishing for something that wasn't going to happen.
I too had a crush on a best friend, during my freshman year I tried so hard for him to like me, he is a very flirty person and flirts with everybody. I knew as hard as I tied nothing happened he was 100% straight, I finally told him I was bi and that I had a little crush on him. And what he said to me was the most funny thing I have ever hears, "Thank's for letting me know and im cool with you being bi, but everybody has crushes on me including guys, I would say I have had 10 guys confess their love to me already" :roflmao: I say let him know that you are gay, and see what happens after that, If he doesn't accept you as gay, do not let him know that you have crush on him. Just see what happens
^ That's what happened with my friend when I told him. When I was at uni there was so much flirting it was ridiculous, so when I said "I'm gay and I like you" he just said I'm "flattered, straight but flattered. Can we still flirt though?" (obviously!).
Hi there! As others have mentioned and as difficult this is going to be, moving on and leaving the crush behind you is the only thing you can do. You already know that your friend is most likely straight and telling him could perhaps alter your friendship with him. One way to start moving on would be trying to get to know new people, and make some more friends. Are there any LGBT resources in your community or area where you live? Maybe try doing a few Google searches and see if something comes up. Another way would be to try spending more time with some of your other friends to keep your mind distracted. Keep pursuing the things that you like doing and know will keep your mind preoccupied and busy. You will be able to move on eventually. It will happen. (*hug*)
Underneath your name, it says you're "out to a small group of people". Is he in that group? If not, that's definitely your first step. Tell him you're gay. You don't have to tell him you have feelings for him. Just tell him you're gay. That'll be his signal that, if he's gay as well, he can come out to you, too. If he doesn't, you'll have to assume he isn't. At that point, your best move is to put some space between you two. You might have to tell him why. "I've found myself developing some feelings for you that I'm pretty sure aren't returned, and I think I might need some time to get my brain back in the right spot." Lex
I had this problem (based on these forums, it seems many of us have), and it's true that it will pass. It took a while for me to get over it, though. One thing that helped me - and keep in mind that one system doesn't work for everyone - was sitting down and writing the famous fake letter. I wrote a letter to him explaining my feelings in blunt detail - far more candid than I would ever be in person. It lasted for two pages, and by the end I realized that it would be better for both of us if I moved on quickly. A few days later, I was pretty much over it, and I haven't had feelings (beyond friendship) for him since. I don't know if your mind works that way or not, but it helped me. Best of luck.
It has happened to me as well. I just tried to ignore it, and it took a while. I think the point where I stopped liking her that way was when she made a comment that suggested she wouldn't be too supportive. I pretty much agree with what everyone said as well. It hurts, but sometimes time works.
The same thing happened with my group of best friends (3 of us). One had feelings for the other, and then he told him about being bi and having feelings. Long story short they aren't friends at all anymore. Learn from this that you should take what Lexington said above; do this in stages. First tell your friend that you are gay, and then see what happens. I'm not trying to have a pessimistic view but in my personal experience it hurt all three of us. Good luck with what you choose to do regardless!
Thanks for all the advice guys. Currently, I have two (actually more, but meh) separate groups of friends: The ones I became friends with before I started at this new school, and the ones I befriended after. I've been open about my sexuality at school, but my "old" friends don't know (I assume). I think I'll come out to them first, which is easier said than done. Thank you!
