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Dealing with an inevitable breakup?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by notquitebutch, Apr 24, 2011.

  1. notquitebutch

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    Hey all. I need somewhere to get this out, so apologize if this is a little jumbled.

    I'm currently in my senior year of highschool. Last year, I moved to this school. I was new, and I wanted to really just be out and be myself. I was, and for the most part I was happy. Lonely, but happy. This year, I expected it to be the same, but the complete opposite happened.

    I met a guy who, emotionally, is my soulmate. We're perfect for eachother, everyone else agrees, it was awesome. In the beginning, I was okay sexually. I think because I hadn't really been with anyone for around 2.5 years, so I was just happy with whatever... eventually, this happened:

    http://emptyclosets.com/forum/anonymous-discussions/44778-history-repeating-itself.html

    It's been tough, but we've been talking about it a lot, in depth. We both have realized though that breaking up is inevitable, and will make us both happier in the long run. We want to stay best friends, because really, we're such an awesome match emotionally that there's no way we can't be. It's funny; we're able to talk about these things so in depth because we each usually feel exactly the same way about them.

    He's told me that he's slowly coming to terms with the fact that we'll break up once we start college. (We're going to both be in Philly, around 20 minutes away from eachother.) I feel the same way. Once we get distracted by our college lives it will be easier on us emotionally to 'break up' as boyfriend and girlfriend and go back to being 'lesbros' as we call it.

    I'm torn. On one hand, I'm excited. For -years- I've been waiting for college to really jsut come out and be myself. Finally have a girlfriend. Know what it's like to be with a girl that way. On the other, it's hard for me to picture myself without him, but more importantly, it's hard for me to imagine him with someone else.

    I need help getting to the point where I can say "This is the best decision for us, we'll both be happier in the long run" without feeling awful every time I think of him with another girl. I know he's working on the same thing, he's told me, but his way of coping with it is that he loves me, and knows he'll be happy if i'm truly happy. I don't really have anything like that to 'justify; everything I guess... I just need advice on how to get past this by the time it happens (probably around november/december)

    Thank you SO much if you read through that...
     
  2. pteen

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    hey I personally think break ups are tough and if it was really worth getting together in the first place your going to be torn at the end. If you are trully less happy with him than you would be without him (as your boyfriend) then i'd just give it time and eventually you'll be happy again.