This story has probably popped up quite a few times, but I need advice badly. I have a friend who I am DEEPLY attracted to. The thing is...he isn't the type of person I thought I would be attracted to. He is skinny, long hair, some acne and other things I really don't like in a guy, but I can not stand it....I am in love with him. He has only had a few girlfriends, one he was on and off with for 4 years, and he likes to talk to girls on facebook and text them. He claims that he does this because he does not want to be alone after his breakups with his long time on and off girlfriend. This is when I really started to think that he was gay. I asked him if he had sex with a girlfriend that he had for 5 months and he replied with "no. sex isn't that great".....I don't know what this means. Can this mean that he doesn't think that sex isn't great because his experiences were not so good, or maybe it is because he has only has sex with women and he is really attracted to men? He always flirts with me on facebook and always puts his hands on me....but he does this in a joking manner...or is it really joking? I respond the same way...but I know im not joking when I do it. I can not stop thinking about him and it is really messing with my emotions. I think everyday that maybe I should just come out to him but I don't want to come out in high school....I want to come out to him because maybe he will come out to me to?? I am just hoping that one day he will come out to me because he already confides in me with many of his relationship issues. Now, my question is....could it be EXTREMELY possible that he is gay? I promised myself that if he ever came out to me, I would not hesitate to do the same.
Welcome to EC! I never play the "is this guy gay" game in real life, and I certainly don't do it online. Because all I have to go on is your comments, and let's face it - you're not exactly a disinterested party here. You're hoping he IS gay (or bisexual), so you may be looking closely and finding "false clues", or ignoring signs that he isn't. So let me just answer "Is he gay?" with "No idea." You may have promised yourself that if he comes out, you'll come out...but what if he made the same promise? Then you're both in limbo, waiting for a move that won't ever come. So if you want something to happen, it's going to come down to you. So yes. Come out to him. But do so VERY carefully. You want to tell him "I'm bisexual". You don't want to tell him "I'm bisexual, and I'm pretty sure you are, too." Keep it all on yourself. Let him know that you've done plenty of soul searching, and you're positive that you're bisexual. And that you're sharing this information with him because you feel he's a good friend, and you feel he can handle it, and deserves to know. That's it. He may have questions, he may need time to get used to the idea, all that. Answer the question, give him the time. And if he doesn't come out to you, don't start angling. At that point, he's either straight, or not at all ready to come out. So don't push it. Lex
He might be gay, he might not be. If he is such a good friend i think you should come out to him, it doesnt seem like he would have a problem. ive been having the same problem with one of my little brothers friends. Can i share my dillemma with you?
Ok I'm a junior in highschool and my brothers friend is a freshman... well he is my friend too I have know him for a long time now and two summers ago i started to see him differently cuz he started to fill out and grow up you know. I think he is straight but you never know, and me and him have had tent sleepouts with a bunch of other friends and a bunch of teenage boys in one tent isn't boring lol, we are all kind of sexual, we haven't done anything, but now every time I see him these feeling just flame back up and when he leaves everything goes back to being normal. I learned that I can not control my feelings, I can not tell my body to not be attracted to him. I know that I can not have a relationship with him, and I'm fine with it, I know I do have control over what I do and how far I can take things, I guess it just comes with time. I hope this helped, if it didn't I'm sorry.
