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Coming Out Advice A supportive place to ask for and give advice about coming out. Includes a sub-forum for posting stories about your coming out experiences.

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Old 24th Apr 2011, 11:58 PM   #1
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Default Being a Bottom

Can someone explain to me what it is like being a bottom?

Does it hurt the first time? Or does the pleasure outweigh the pain?

If there is any pleasure in it...can you describe it?

I'm having trouble finding my role.
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Old 25th Apr 2011, 01:18 AM   #2
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Default Re: Being a Bottom

Hi there,

I think you can find some answers to your questions here : Empty Closets - Anal Sex

I would had that anal sex is not supposed to hurt. It does if you're not well prepared. To be enjoyable, anal sex requires condoms, lots of lub and a caring partner.

Take care, CÚcile
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Old 25th Apr 2011, 01:26 AM   #3
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Default Re: Being a Bottom

Thank You for that reference
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Old 25th Apr 2011, 01:27 AM   #4
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Default Re: Being a Bottom

I'm female, so obviously not a gay guy, but I have done anal a few times. It's the one thing that I've actually enjoyed doing with guys.

My main advice would be to experiment with your fingers, then a dildo or butt plug, first. I was playing with myself one day and just slipped a finger back there and loved it. The first time I slipped a dildo in was great, I felt really full and I'll didn't hurt at all.

When your first penetrated by a cock it feels so much better because you know you've got something real and throbbing in there. It's hard to describe so the best thing would probably be for you to try it.

A lot of the guides online say that you can never use too much lube. To of that's wrong. Obviously you need some but then just add it as you need it so it's not a big squelchy mess.

I found that the best position was with my legs in the air, over his shoulders. This really let him in deep and let us look at each other\kiss at the same time. Sometimes, if I wanted it rough, he'd bend me over a desk or something and do me from behind. That was also good.

From a different perspective but I hope this helps a bit. Let me know if there's anything else you want to know.
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Old 25th Apr 2011, 02:09 AM   #5
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Default Re: Being a Bottom

Andi and others,


Is being a bottom indicitive of being submissive? I've hard it both ways just was unsure mysel that is all. Also, do't you guys have worries of auto immuno deficient virus? I do definitely an gues that is one of the biggest reasonswhy more straight people don't come out of te cloet earlier on. Pesonaly it is about agressiveness or being accommedating to yourpartner. Being subissive bottom to me anywys is better but anyway just was addinto the iscussion.
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Old 25th Apr 2011, 03:27 AM   #6
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Default Re: Being a Bottom

Quote:
Originally Posted by pink4me View Post
Is being a bottom indicitive of being submissive? I've hard it both ways just was unsure mysel that is all.
Nope, but that's the stereotype. Some of the most robust, rough-and-tumble and dominant types you'll ever meet are bottoms, and some of the most quiet and submissive-appearing types you'll meet are tops. You can't draw any conclusions that are accurate, even though the stereotypes tell you otherwise.


Quote:
Also, do't you guys have worries of auto immuno deficient virus? I do definitely an gues that is one of the biggest reasonswhy more straight people don't come out of te cloet earlier on.
Yes, but one can get HIV from topping or bottoming or (though more rarely) from a variety of other ways. So in any situation, having sex should involve using safer sex practices, regardless of whether the other person tells you s/he is "clean" or not.

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Pesonaly it is about agressiveness or being accommedating to yourpartner. Being subissive bottom to me anywys is better but anyway just was addinto the iscussion.
The majority of healthy gay relationships usually have elements of shared dominance; the partners trade off on dominance vs. submission, or simply approach sex from a place of sharing responsibility for "leading."
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Old 25th Apr 2011, 03:12 PM   #7
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Default Re: Being a Bottom

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Originally Posted by pink4me View Post
Is being a bottom indicitive of being submissive? I've hard it both ways just was unsure mysel that is all.
Sex is sex. Best as part of a loving and equal relationship. Of course there will be different dynamics within that, but there's no great meaning to who does what. I prefer being on bottom (to use the common term, it often isn't the one who's below), though I'm judging on the basis of one man. Possibly partly to do with my short height, dynamics work better that way. I don't there's any way to tell looking at a gay couple who is more the top or bottom, and it usually is a case of more one, rather than exclusively one.
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