So I've posted a few times already about some things so forgive me if I'm repeating myself. So I'm out to some close friends and one family member and the reactions were all fantastic- not a single bit of negativity. Some other closer friends (straight guys) I just haven't had the courage or strength to come out to. I've been really struggling with not being able to date or have anyone special in my life because I'm not fully out. Also, I can't stand nearly everything about being in the closet- lying to parents and friends, having to pretend I am not attracted to guys, and the constant questions of why I don't have a girlfriend or that I'm going to meet someone soon and get married and all that. I know I need to focus on my studies but I'm thinking my plan of coming out at the end of this year just isn't going to work out anymore. I've been working out my sexuality for probably 3 or 4 years now and I'm comfortable with it personally and with those select few friends. The problem mainly is that my circumstance makes things difficult but maybe I'm thinking it is just worse than it really is. I want to be honest with my life but my friends are very antisocial and being straight guys they never talk about anything personal such as orientation. I'm so confused right now but all I know is that I'm so sick of waiting. I'm thinking maybe people can just get stuffed and if they like me or hate me well that is it! I'm still young but I feel like I'm missing out on my life while others get to have boyfriends/girlfriends and be happy. I know everyone is different but how did you guys deal with the desire to come out when you were really unsure? Also what about dating?
What you wrote is sort of how I feel. I'm still in high school, in a pretty conservative area, so coming out probably can't happen until college. A lot of my friends have boyfriends and talk about them, go places with them, etc., which makes me feel left out. It sucks, I know. You could think about dropping little hints, or you could just casually say it since they aren't the sentimental type. The way I deal with it is to know that I don't have anyone I can rely on if things don't go well. I'm pretty tight with my group of friends, so if they would reject me I'd have no where to turn to. I'm also financially dependent on my parents, so I just remind myself that it would be safer to wait. That's just me though.
I suppose I feel as if my coming out plan isn't quite as relevant as it once was. I'm not saying its going to be easy to come out to certain people in my life but so far everyone has been supportive and its sort of pushing me to come out properly. I'm so confused right now. As for dropping hints I've tried but I'm not stereotypically gay and I don't want to be either. Though, some of my friends have jokingly asked if I was. Maybe I should come out to them.
I haven't posted on here in a while (since I came out, I think) but let me offer you my two cents. When I came out, it was really a tipping point for me. I had been balancing the desire to be who I am aropund my friends and family against the fear of rejection from those same loved ones. Now correct me if I'm worng but that sounds like where you are. Now, I never reached a point where I was like okay I'll just come out I don't care what people think. I was reaaly scared, but I decided to make that leap because living a lie was starting to grate on me. So I told a few people, and then just decided to be out to everyone. Something which made me ultimately more happy. Sure some people said I was going to burn in the fires of hell, but being an atheist that didn't bother me too much :lol: In short I think you might just have to make the leap and chance it, If the people around you really like/love you, it really wont matter. As far as dating, I can't answer that without knowing more about your situation. But you can do online dating, I got a two year relationship doing that way. And there are so many places you can meet people, just be honest about who and what you :]
