A natural part of any kind of relationship--whether it's friendship, family, or romantic--is that drama is a part of everyday life. You are going to get into fights and disagreements with those you love. This is part of communication and there's nothing wrong with it, as long as you know how to solve these issues. One of my friends doesn't like drama. When anything like drama appears, he becomes distant and avoids the issue. When I came out to him, he told me that he accepts me for who I was, but when it comes time for me to come out to someone, he disappears emotionally and wants nothing to do with it. When I told him I was coming out to my parents, he pretty much abandoned me. It wasn't until I came out and reported that things were fine that we started talking again. I like this guy. He's fun to be around and everything, but it hurts when he distances himself from me when things become to "real" for him. Is there a way I can communicate my hurt feelings to him without him becoming reclusive again?
I would say do just that. When he starts becoming distant confront him (in a good way, not angrily) and ask him why he does it and how it makes you feel. That the reason that you are talking to him about it is because you consider him a good friend. I know its easier at first to try to avoid confrontation and hope it gets better, out of fear of losing him. But there will come a point where you can't live constantly fearing that you will upset him. If he really is a good friend then he will want to make things work, and it will work out.
Oh, I forgot to mention that his fear of drama seems to stem from an event. In the last year of his mother's life, his sister spent her time with a loser boyfriend who was abusive emotionally and sometimes physically. This caused a lot of arguments within the family. As a result, their mother died a brain aneurysm without resolving anything with his sister.
