Soooo I've brought this up before, maybe some of you will remember this.. It's about me and my boyfriend, who I think of as a friend with a title and benefits, except the benefits are just holding hands. I think of our progress with each other as moving as slowly as a dead snail. Think and visualize about that for a while >_< I guess I'm just wondering, I dunno... I don't know if I care for him as more than a friend. Do I move on from this or what ? I don't know if he cares for me too... The problem is that I feel bad thinking about all of this. What if he does care for me, and I'm just an unreceptive callous boyfriend ? Maybe I don't see/feel it from him and I'm just like a selfish boyfriend. I've tried making moves on him in the past (read: I just asked to hug him once, he said maybe next time, and another time later I hugged him goodbye and he didn't reciprocate.), but because of the kind of reactions I got from him those times I mentioned in brackets, I stopped making moves. Those two examples from the brackets I talked about happened probably like more than 1.5 months ago... He has initiated holding my hands every time though, which probably has been around 10 times total. We've known each other for over 2 months now, which isn't a lot at all. This is his and my first relationship with each other. I'm scared to bring all of this up to him though... I dunno, I just feel like we're just really good friends... I want to have more I guess... I talked to one of his friends about this and she couldn't say much because she was getting picked up by her mom at that moment, but she did comment that it was interesting that we hadn't moved quicker, because in her experience of other people's relationships, she said that first time relationships usually move the quickest. If I bring this all up to him he might think I want to end it sort of... and maybe I do want to end it... I'm not sure... I don't want to come across as a jerk... I just don't know if he cares for me more than a friend. Like... the way I see it is that physical gestures of affection would show that, but maybe that's just me... And of course, I don't want to force him to do stuff he's not ready for. So yeah... comments and advice would be helpful...
>>>If I bring this all up to him he might think I want to end it sort of... Perhaps he will. It seems that a lot of gay guys, for whatever reason, get awfully comfortable living in limbo. Generally, that involves having a really good friend that might or might not be gay. And they keep looking for hints and signs that maybe something might happen, but they're scared to either say or do anything that might jeopardize the relationship. So they keep on, maybe occasionally hinting at something, and feeding on the scraps that come their way. Frankly, I don't think it's any way to live. Talk to him. Straight up. The worst that happens is he says he's not interested in being in a relationship with you. Which would suck, sure. But it'd suck a lot less than waiting around for another group of months or years waiting for something to happen. Lex
If the only reason you're staying is because you're worried about being a jerk, this relationship isn't going to be good for either of you to continue. But that's really up to you to decide how you feel about him.
