Okay, so this is my first boyfriend, and he smokes. I have never kissed a guy before him, but for some reason kissing him and tasting that taste seems to remind me of my childhood. The feeling of his lips and stubble on my face, reminds me of when I was a child. I don't know why though, I started thinking about it, and I am coming to the conclusion that I am repressing some sort of weird fucked up memory from my childhood... Somebody have any thoughts on this?
my mom always smoked marlboro full flavors, and now I like the smell of full flavor cigs, but especially marlboro, though I myself have never smoked.
Our sense of smell is thought to be the most powerful memory cue we have, so you may, indeed, be touching on some early childhood memory. It is possible to entirely repress traumatic memories that happen before age 6 or 8, and then have them resurface years later. If there's anything there, you will just have to wait, as there really isn't any reliable way to retrieve whatever is there, if anything. In most cases, though, when something triggers it, more of the memories or feelings start to surface. Just give it time and patience.
(just to add, my mom and dad used to smoke when I was younger, so that's why I think something bad may have happened, because it's all too familiar....)
wait, if you are not uncomfortable with the taste and smell of smoke on your boyfriend, then why are you thinking you've repressed a traumatic experience? I'm not saying you're wrong, I'm just trying to understand what you're saying. You said your boyfriend's smoking reminds you of childhood, but you're also saying that you like the smell and I think I may have missed something. Either way, if you are repressing something, the reality is you are just going to have to let it come back. But if something does come back to you, don't think that you can't talk about it with a counselor or someone to sort it all out.
Agreed. I don't believe this memory is 'traumatic' or anything, because you seem to like the smell, which suggests it's a positive thing. The whole 'repressed, traumatic' memory thing comes from Freud, who, according to my Psychology class, isn't someone who you can incredibly rely on. I'm sure there's some truth in it, but with what you're experiencing, I don't think it's going to be something bad. Mainly because, if it was, surely the smell would make you feel freaked out or a negative emotion? It could also just be neutral. For example, when I was younger, I used to live by the beach. When ever I'm near the coast (there's like, a distinctive smell of sea water and sand), I remember that. It's just a trigger back to that time.
I love scent-triggered memories! Although if it is indeed a repressed memory, it may not be such a good thing. One day everything might click into place and you'll remember where it comes from. Or maybe it isn't some sort of memory at all, maybe his scent just turns you on?
It probably has nothing to do with childhood trauma, don't overpsychoanalyze, smoke isn't a great taste. I had this problem with my ex, just make him eat, drink or chew gum before kissing him.
This happens to me alot too, my parents both use to smoke and whenever i smell it I like it is very weird. I don't think you had traumatic experience around smoking I think since you were around smoking as a child you got use it, but now since you haven't been use to it for awhile your boyfriend is starting to bring back those memories and feeling when your parents smoked.
okay, so I didn't know about the scent-triggering memories thing, and I don't think I've had a bad thing happen anymore, I just didn't know that happened to people with smells.
