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Could do with some advice

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Dr Acula, May 3, 2011.

  1. Dr Acula

    Full Member

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    So, guy I like might have a boyfriend (kinda dated someone before Easter, heard nothing whilst he was at home), although even he doesn't know whether he does. He likes me, I like him, but I don't know how best to handle showing I really like him (although he knows that I think) but not pressuring him. Any suggestions? Current situation is that we saw each other Thursday for the first official time, all went well and he stayed at mine, then invited me to his on Friday. Went well again, met some of his friends, stayed at his, came back Saturday. Should also mention that the days before we saw each other (Monday, Tuesday Wednesday), we were texting lots and probably spent about 12 hours on the phone to each other. Since the weekend, we've been texting, but I've been trying to give him a little space so he can get his head around things.

    We can only really see each other at weekends, since I work during the week and he lives in a different city, although only an hour travel time including walking to the station.

    Is there anything I can do, or am I just overthinking things? Would I be best just letting things take their natural course? I'm really scared of contacting him for any period of time in case I'm putting too much pressure on, but I really don't want to appear cold/uncaring/callous etc.

    Help.
     
  2. alexi12

    alexi12 Guest

    Let some time pass maybe for him to figure things out, but maybe you can set a deadline to yourself for when you should talk to him about what is going on between you two.
     
  3. TheEdend

    TheEdend Guest

    I would actually suggest to be direct with him. Tell him that you like him, but that you need him to decide who he wants to be with.

    Playing those minds games is mentally exhausting and its much easier, even though sometimes scary, to just go ahead and be straightforward with it.
     
  4. Dr Acula

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    I can see both arguments. The thing he really didn't like was the other guy not being in contact - a couple of short text conversations with short answers was all he had. To me it suggest that I should keep talking to him, but then again I don't want to do that if it will put too much pressure there.

    I was thinking of possibly calling him after work today (first time we've spoken on the phone since Saturday) and asking him out at the weekend - seem reasonable?

    Grr, why can't he have just been completely, undoubtedly single with no possible conflicts?