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LGBT Siblings

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by SparkleTears, May 7, 2011.

  1. SparkleTears

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    Gender:
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    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    About 6 weeks ago something life changing happened to me, no I did not come out.

    My sister did.

    In the process she completely halted my own coming out process and made me kind of mad at her for that (selfish, I know) but, she also made me more proud of her than ever. She now has a GF and my mom is seemingly fine with it treating them like any other relationship.

    I was just wondering are any of you out their siblings to brothers or sisters who are also Gay, Bisexual or Lesbian and how did you handle coming out?
    Was it any different?
    Should I put it on hold completely?

    Any advice would be greatly appreciated and stories just as so :slight_smile:

    Thank you.
     
  2. HantsBen

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    I cant comment regarding LGBT Siblings but with regards to your coming out i'd say its perfect timing and if I was in your situation knowing your mum has taken it so well would reassure me in coming out. However you should only come out when you are ready to. Good luck :slight_smile:
     
  3. Chandra

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    Are you out to your sister? That might be a good place to start.
     
  4. Daryn

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    Since your mom took it so well, that probably means good news for you. I agree with the other posters, maybe try talking to your sister. I don't have any siblings, so I can't comment on that, but I did have a cousin come out about a year ago. I always knew, so it wasn't a big deal or anything for me. But I saw the way my family reacted and that was a pretty big wake-up call.
     
  5. zerogravity

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    Hey! I was in the same situation - my sister came out a few years ago as being a lesbian. She had a girlfriend, living together and everything. My parents were horrified by the whole thing. My dad was eventually accepting but my mom was not.

    Now, at that time I was determined that I would never, ever come out. But a few months ago I decided that I would. I told my parents first and a couple weeks later I told my sister.

    My sister already knew and she was wondering when I would come out. She is 3 years older than me and was suspicious of me being gay since I was 7. She used to drop hints all the time and ask me about gay-ish things, talk about her gay friends, hoping to get me to say something.

    Anyways, it wasn't a big surprise to my parents either. So, its not that unusual to have gay siblings. If you have any questions, just ask away!
     
  6. Ben

    Ben
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    Hi : D

    I have a gay brother, older than me by a couple of years. I don't really see why you should halt your coming out process. This might be a great time to let it be known—all I can say is that it does make it a whole lot easier when there's someone else in the family going through the same stuff, it might even help her if you came out too.

    I came out before my brother did. My mum got used to it, and I think that helped her when my brother came back with a boyfriend. When I'm home, my house usually has four gay guys and one lovely, caring mother. It's a rainbow house of happiness!

    It makes things a whole lot easier for everyone, I think, when there's more than one of you involved. I get the sibling rivalry thing though—my brother got a boyfriend before me and I was determined to get a more attractive one. xD
     
  7. Holmes

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    This isn't really quite the point, but when I came out, my mother said, "That's grand. I really expected it of one of the other two". I doubt it of my sister, she's had a few boyfriends, and too early to tell with my brother, at just 13. But my point is, if your mother has considered the idea with your sister, it should be ok when you tell her.
     
  8. Makaio1

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    Man, I am going thru EXACTLY the same thing as you. My sister has come out as gay, she has a gf and its pushed me back into the closet more. My parents told me that if I were to ever come out as gay too, that they couldn't handle having 2 gay children. Way to go for being supportive huh?!

    I'm out to some friends but being away at college does give me the freedom of being who I want to be and not having to worry about my parents. Ofc, I want to eventually come out to them, but thats not an option for me. I feel I need to find myself and fully accept myself, before I can tell them.

    Hang in there bro, I know what you are going through. (*hug*)
     
  9. Gumtree

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    My oldest brother is gay.

    He is 19 years older than me and had come out completely before I was even born.

    He really paved the way for me though. During his birth, my mother was in the middle of a transition from Catholic to Budhist, so there was some initial tention over the issue, but now there is nothing but support and acceptance. Needless to say my coming out was very easy, and almost of no consequence to my parents.
     
  10. GuardianKitten

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    Both of my sisters are lesbian, and my brother(twin) is pansexual.

    Queer family. And yet, parents are all ew-homos.

    Go figure.
     
  11. Dr Acula

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    My eldest brother (14 years older than me) is gay. I found out second hand from my parents that he was gay, but it was actually quite comforting. I was at the stage when I was coming to terms with it myself, didn't come out to the parents for years after I found out, but it was nice to know they were ok with their son being gay.
     
  12. PhantomX

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    My sister and me are both gay. She started to come out before I did by almost 2 yrs, but we came out to our family at roughly the same time. She is also a member of EC....she goes by Sakura on here. :slight_smile: I can definitely see it being harder when the 2 only children of 2 parents turn out to be gay. But, it is nice having someone in the family who knows what you're going through.
     
  13. Kidd

    Kidd Guest

    My younger brother is gay. I'm almost 20, he's almost 17. I think the fact that both of us are gay has driven us further apart, to be totally honest. He swaggerjacks me on the daily and I'm just sick of it. We get really competitive and I think the fact that we're alike in this aspect too has exacerbated everything to a point where I want nothing to do with him after I leave home. He's a boyfriend stealer. We'll leave it at that.

    Our parents are totally supportive though, of course. We're the only two children. I don't think you should delay your own coming out. If they're cool with your sister, then they'll probably be cool with you too. Plus, you guys will be able to lend emotional support to each other if you have to or whatever, you know?
     
    #13 Kidd, May 8, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: May 8, 2011
  14. alexi12

    alexi12 Guest

    Your sister may be a good place to start, like Chandra said.

    My sister is soooo straight! But nearly all of her friends except her boyfriend are some form of not being straight, self included.