Hi, I found this website while looking for answers on how to go about life. For a long time I kinda felt that I was different in a way I could not explain I thought it was a phase of life and that I was going to get threw it but the truth be told I never got through it. All this Came to be when I first Entered High School. During my Freshmen year I notied that I was checking out Guys a lot more then girls not intentionally but it was like a reflex, and was always saying in my head and not to my friends"Gee that Guy is hot, Or that man cute" These thoughts always gave me the Creeps and I never knew why I was thinking about them. At the Time I did not know nor Understand the Word gay/Homosexual. So I kinda looked up what it means to want another man and found then answers they creeped me out at first but then I knew it was who I was Again hoping it was just a phase I kept going through with school. The end of the year came and I started my first job not knowing that this was going t make me worse. A few weeks passed and I met this Guy who I was extremely attracted too. He had a great Personality, and Became a good Friend. Now just for the record I have had only 1 Girl Friend and that was 5-6 years ago, but it was one of those middle school relationships. So after a few years of high school I noticed I had stopped doing what I had been and though that the phase passed. Little did I know that it only hide itself within me. For with in my First year of College it started Happening again and Was even more Worse and had Stronger urges. I then Finally came to the Solution that I might be Bi or gay because of what Was going on. I lived with the secret in me until I did come to the conclusion I was gay(on a day I was tacking a test and ended up Bombing it). I have only come to the fact that this is who I am I am not happy with this at all But I am also Terrified and scared because of how people judge other people who are like this. I have come out to a few people including my Immediate family 2 of my aunts and 2 friends. The Main things that Scare be about being like this if the Disease AIDs/HIV, being judged by the world because of who I am, and being a strong believer in heaven the fact that I may not be able to get into heaven after I die. I need your Help guys What Can I do to help accept myself into this new life, Most of my supportive friends are over in Italy atm. I am so scared and don't know how to move on. ---------- Post added 9th May 2011 at 11:51 AM ---------- Please forgive any spelling and grammar mistakes not the best at english.
Hi there, and welcome to EC! You've come to the right place for sure! (I'm not sure we have all the answers about how to go about life, but we have a few of them!) Being different can be scary. And not so much because we don't like being the way we are, but because other people might not like the way we are. Some people see 'differen't as 'bad', even though that isn't the case. It's important for you to remember that different does not = bad, in fact it usually equals AWESOME! How did your family respond when you told them you were gay? Hopefully they were supportive. And that would be a good start. Being comfortable with it yourself is the most important step, so hang out here and keep getting more comfortable with being gay. Good luck!
Welcome to EC! I understood your post just fine, so don't worry about that. Let me just briefly touch on your concerns at the end. I don't imagine that I'll be able to put them all to rest, but hopefully I can at least start you on the road. "if the Disease AIDs/HIV" This is a disease that one should have a "healthy respect" for, but not necessarily have a morbid fear of. There are some very simple steps you can take to help ensure that you don't contract HIV, or any number of STIs. The simple process of wearing a condom while engaging in anal sex will immediately eliminate the most common method of transmission. You might do some research online to educate yourself further on safer sex methods. "being judged by the world because of who I am" There ARE people who will judge you, or think certain things about you, because you're gay. And there's really nothing you can do about that. You've presumably run into other situations similar to this already in your life. You don't specifically say that you're Italian by birth but living in Boston now, but that seems to be the implication, so let me run with that one for a bit. You may have Americans making incorrect assumptions about you because you're Italian. I don't know specifically what they might be - you love pasta and pizza? You're Roman Catholic? - but I'll bet you've found a few. And being gay is exactly the same. People will make some assumptions or apply some stereotypes to you, some of which might fit and others which don't. And it's generally no big deal. There ARE a few people who might dismiss you completely based on your sexuality. You know what? They don't matter. Not really. "being a strong believer in heaven the fact that I may not be able to get into heaven after I die." There are lots of discussions and debates about this, but I'll just quote a recent American Congressman who said "I think it's time we gave some reflection to the fact that since God keeps making homosexuals, it's probably true that he actually wants them around." In short, if God is truly anti-homosexual, it's rather strange that he keeps making so many of us. "I need your Help guys What Can I do to help accept myself into this new life" Here's the main thing to remember. Your new life is going to be nearly identical to your old one. The only differences are: * it will be known that you're gay * you'll feel freer to act or say things that you might have kept hidden before That's it. Nothing else changes. We're all just the same as everybody else. We have jobs, we have hobbies, we have friends, we have problems, we have issues, we have boy- and girlfriends. The only difference is that we date the same sex. Lex
Thanks for the Support I will probably be around a lot. But when I told my Family I was gay some of them were not surprised that I was. My Dad however isn't entirely there he is kinda distant towards me. But the rest of them are fine.
It took you several years to come to grips with your sexuality. And sometimes it takes time for other people to come to grips with it, as well. Just allow him that time, answer any questions he might have (without getting emotional, if possible), and chances are good that he'll come around. Lex
