I got with this guy who had just gotten out of a relationship with an abusive boyfriend about a month ago. and a week ago he told me he was going back to his ex that beat him up, and I just feel crappy. On the upside we never really had sex, but on the downside I did develop feelings for him, even it was short lived. he said I wasn't a rebound, and while I really should have known better, I suck at taking my own advice and believed him. now I just feel like I got used so that he wouldn't have to deal with his feelings about his ex while they are apart. now he wants to be friends with me, but steve throws a fit if we talk and hanging out is out of the question, but I'm not even sure if I want to be his friend, I'm hurt, and I feel like saying i told you so every time he tells me that things with steve are bad and he's upset, but today they are facebook official again, and I just feel kinda lost. In every way I was ever compared to his ex it was in a good way, I pay my own way, I'm out, good with kids and animals, got along with his friends and family, helped him out when he needed it, and always upbeat. I guess I just don't understand, I mean, I know that he loved steve, but I don't get it. hey even tells me that I still give him butterflies, and his roomie wants us to get back together, but i told her I don't think I'd be down for it because I felt used, but honestly, I'm not as sure as I keep trying to tell myself. ugh, help me out people, whats wrong with me here?
Ouch. For now, maybe you should be less concerned about being a rebound and more concerned that someone you care about is in an abusive relationship. He's better off single than involved in that kind of relationship, so any questions you have about being with him might be best cast aside for now.
I told him I'd rather he be with anybody but steve because he had hit him, but i guess it didn't matter, not its happened again, yet.
Sometimes its hard to understand. I was with a guy for years that cheated on me. We were together but not official... we were 'exclusive' (according to him). He started using drugs and I always told myself that I wouldn't be with someone who cheated on me, did drugs, was an alcoholic or was abusive (he was both of those too). Sometimes when it's what you're used to its just like its all you know. You feel like it's 'right'. Not morally right, but its just how it's been, it becomes routine. If he really loves him, he could be going back to him in hopes that he changed, that he will change, or that he can make him change. I've got a friend that goes for the problem boys because she feels like she needs to fix them. Don't assume that you were a rebound just because he got back with his ex. He probably does have feelings for you but just went back to his comfort zone because its easier, if that makes sense.
