Hey guys! I'm new to this site and am very happy to be a part of the community. Let me tell you a bit about myself. I'm going to be a sophomore in college this September. In the past year I've come to accept the fact that I'm gay, and I've planned to come out to my close friends and then my family this summer. I'm home for the summer now, and to be honest, I'm completely nervous to act on the plans that I've made for myself. I have one friend that I can definitely trust, and I think I will come out to him soon. Otherwise, being reunited with my other high school friends for the summer has been a little weird. Since being in college my other friends have had various hook ups that they have started to talk about in regular conversation. They never used to talk about hooking up with girls (mostly because they haven't been very lucky in high school), but the fact that they are making this such a big part of conversation worries me. My biggest worry is obviously being accepted by my friends. I'm worried that coming out to them will change the way we hang out. I want to be a part of their lives and I don't want my sexual preference to cause tension. I'm also worried whether or not their newfound maturity will make it more difficult for them to accept me. Anyway, can anyone give me some advice? I want to come out, but I'm worried if this is going to greatly strain the relationship I have with my friends. I want to be able to talk to them, without them censoring what they say, or without them judging me. How should I go about coming out?
Hi! Welcome to EC! I'm doing exactly the same thing (well, with me being a Junior in college next semester, not a Sophomore but oh well)! Personally, I was only worried about one college friend, who I managed to come out to with there being little tension (he was my roommate). Everyone else I'm not too worried about, but I can understand where you're coming from, as I have a large group of friends who are extremely anti-LGBT due to their upbringings. So, I'll try my best to help you out with some options, and tell you what I'm doing about them. First, how your friends react to your coming out is not under your control very much. The only thing you can control is the timing. If you really thing coming out will cause tension, then I'd wait until you're back for a few weeks to feel out how they would react. It's never going to go how you think it will, but it helps to have a general idea. That's one option, but there is another. My friends which are very anti-LGBT will likely react badly no matter what, so I've decided to tell a few key people in that circle in person, and then mass FB note everyone else. This will cut down on a lot of tension, by giving a lot of time for the others to mentally go through the process of redefining how they see me. Also, it means I'll likely lose a number of friends, but I'm accepting of that as a necessary loss in order to stop lying to everyone. These are two different extremes, and you'll have to figure out if you want to do one, the other, a mix of the two, or an entirely different idea I haven't thought of. I hope that you're able to come out with little difficulty. From what I can see from your post, your friends might be a little tensed up, but over time I don't think it'll affect your friendship too much. Good luck, and know that you have a family here to support you any time!
I think you should definitely come out if you think you're ready. It's very liberating. You'll feel so much better about yourself, and you'll be way more confident. I can guarantee it. When I came out I just told a few people in person first; my very closest and best friends, and I made it a point to tell them that it wasn't a secret--spread the word, and they did. For a while people would come up to me and ask me if the rumors were true or not and I just told them the truth and that was that, nice and simple. Naturally though people will have questions, awkward questions, just answer them honestly and truthfully when they come up but it might be smart to downplay any sexual things if a guy asks you unless he's like really accepting and you know that. I'm sure you've heard this before too but it's true; if your friends don't accept you for who you are then they weren't really your friends to begin with and you're better off without people like that in your life. If someone doesn't like the real you, cut them loose. It really is their loss and their problem. Put on your hero face and just take the plunge. ^_^
Welcome to EC! I would say go for it! It sounds like you are ready and wanting to be able to be truthful about who you really are with your friends. Sounds like its time. It is scary, but way worth it at the end. Start small. Tell your best friend first then work your way to your other friends. Mostly likely they will accept you for who you are. Maybe some one them more easily than other, but they will get there. Go for it! Coming out won't change any of your relationships or how you guys hang out. If anything it might improve how you relate to then since now you can be 100% open with your friends.
I think you are ready to come out. I know exactly how you feel I too first came out to one of my co-workers that I could trust with my life. She was very accepting of be and it made the comming out part very easy for me. I am still in the process of comming out to other people and accepting this as who I am. The point I am trying to make is this. THe if you feel you are ready to come out then go for it. The day you come out you will be scared to death and very worried if anyone will treat you differently but the next day it feels so good knowing that you do not have to hide it anymore.
Hi I'm new, I'm 13 going to 8th gr. I'm officially not out but thinking about telling the truth to my closest friends that I trust (&&&) . Do you think I should or not. I don't have a LOT of friends just an okay amount and I'm afraid after I come out, I won't have any friends at all.the school i go to is a private school and I don't want to get in trouble for talking inappropriate if someone does tells a teacher or the principal :icon_sad: :bang: :***: . Please help I need support :help: (&&&) . P.S I'm a Muslim and I don't know if my religion accepts being gay can anyone help me with this too. Thnks in advance
theWorldisYours: Just take it one step at a time. Start with your friend that you know will support you. Then think of what to do next. ryanderson123: Hi, welcome to Empty Closets! Maybe you could just start by trying to find out in a general way what your friends think of homosexuality. That will give you a better idea if any of them are safe to tell.
