So, i was living with my wife at her mother's house, when all of a sudden after living there for a year i get kicked out. The day I got kicked out, my wife told her mother she was coming with me. Her mother told her you either stay here with me, or go with her and get cut off from the family totally. She comes from an Arab culture, and her mom was one of the first people to break the chain of marrying inside the culture.... after all that is said and done, her mother is making her go places she doesn't want to go. her mother made her go to a Leaf Festival this weekend, and she was forced to go. Her mother also makes her come home at night, after promising to spend the night with me. This has happened three times, and the last time we spend our one year anniversary together, this past Wednesday, and she was supposed to spend the night. but her mother told her last minute that she couldn't stay the night because they were leaving early in the morning for the festival this past weekend. she told me that they were supposed to be leaving at 7 am, when i log on to facebook, her status was updated that day at 11 am. i asked her why this was, and she told me she brought the lap top with her. and it took a long time to even get the answer after her dancing around it for some time. i even asked her why she would bring a lap top to go camping, that its hard to believe it, and she told me just in case...after dancing around that for a little while as well. Idk if she's lying to me, or her mother is lying to her. idk what to believe when it comes down to it. my wife is 20 years old, and her mom still treats her like she's a kid. her mom also is very selfish, and can be cold hearted. her mom is a great person on the outside. but when you get close to her thats when shit hits the fan. my wife constantly tells me that her mom is starting to pick fights more and more with her, and i've told her to stand up to her mom, she says she does, but i dont see it.... the only reason i'm posting this is because its pushing me away from her, really badly. i don't want this relationship to end, but she doesn't understand how much it bothers me. i don't even know if she sees that i'm being pushed away. how in the world do i overcome this?
You say "wife" so I am going on the assumption that you two are actually married. The point of marriage (one of them anyway) is to separate from your family of origin (FOO), creating a new family unit. So if one of the FOO is trying to manipulate or whatever then it's up to the new couple to stand together in however they decide to handle it. Your wife is not standing by the commitment she made to you. I realize that you probably don't want to increase the pressure on her with yet another ultimatum, but it might be good just to reaffirm that you are in this together and you will be with her to help her through this rejection by her family until they come around.
Wow. This is odd for sure. The two of you are married? Really? What kind of marriage is it where you don't actually live together? And you communicate via facebook? It sounds like you both need to figure out what you really want out of your relationship. Perhaps your wife wasn't really prepared to make the kind of commitment that marriage generally involves. Because in my opinion, getting married means that you're putting your spouse first - before your mother. For her mother to throw you out of the house and for her to not come with you is a pretty clear indication that she's not prepared to do that. So then you need to figure out whether that's good enough for you. It wouldn't be for me.
