Getting over first boyfriend :(

Hey sweetie (*hug*),

I am sorry that you're going through such a hard time at the moment, and I am sorry that I have to tell you that all that you're experiencing is completly normal.
You say that it's already been 3 months since you break up and that you're still hurting.
I would say that it's only been 3 months since you break up and that it is perfectly normal that you're still hurting from this.
He was your first love. That is completly normal that you can't let him go easily, that you still want him back, that you're still mourning about the relationship you had and that you're still hurting to the thought of him with someone else.
These are the normal steps that follows a breaking up and unfortunatly, there is nothing much to do to speed up the grieving process.
You already did what I would have suggested : cutting off contacts with him to give yourself some space. Now I would had, give yourself some time too.
I know a heartbreak is not an easy or happy thing to go through. If it is of any comfort, this is part of every human being life experience.
Don't stay alone with your pain. Being around people who loves you helps a lot, even if it doesn't seem this way at first. Most people want to be alone when they're going through a heartbreak. That is a mistake. Crying on a friend's shoulder, having your friends and family around to comfort you and support you when times are rought is important.
It's not going to be a pleasant journey but I promise you that it will get better with time. One day, you'll be over him and ready to love again. Until then, don't give up on hope.
Many (*hug*) (*hug*) Cécile

 

Ugh, heartache is tough...not a worse feeling in the world and not a band-aide big enough to put on it.

I hate to break it to you kid, but really time and patience are the only remedies.
It took me over a year to get over someone one time..worst year in my life and my body is still feeling the effects of all the drugs and alcohol I did to try and forget him...it was so dumb on my part..to let one person have that much control over my emotions and my health...but we all say that after-the-fact I suppose.

The best thing you can do in the meantime is simply "put yourself out there" so-to-speak. Be around people as much as you can...I know that is tired and cliche advice, but it does actually help. It did with me.

Find support with friends..be it in person or here.

You must also remember that while this pain seems like it will last forever...it won't. This is your first..and hate to say it..won't be your last heartbreak. We learn something from each one I think.

Like Cecile said, it is not going to be a pleasant experience...but remember, you are young and this is your first. There are a lot of hearts out there for you to thrill..so get to it mister!

 

I'm in a similar situation, although my girlfriend and I decided to remain friends. We still keep in contact, and I don't know if that is very wise because it makes getting over her difficult. She was my first girlfriend and first love, just like you, and it has only been one month since we ended it. But I was her fourth relationship and she's already over me - knowing that just hurts so much. If I were you, I wouldn't hold on to the hopes that you guys will get back together, because that will only hurt you. I think when we look back on the past we romanticize everything and dismiss the bad things that happened (maybe I'm just a cynic). You should remember the reason why you guys broke up and know that he is probably not the right one for you. Better that you know it now than later down the road!

 

I dont think there is much for me to say that hasnt been said. It would been ideal if the two of you could be civil. No matter what it takes. Try talking, forgive one another, and tell each other that you are forgiven.

Its much harder done than said, but if you can be civil, you can have understanding. Its a hunch of mine that the reason the two of you didnt work is because of a lack of understanding. By instilling communication, and understanding in you life now, you can ensure the possibilities in the future that you can have a relationship similar and even better than this one.

 

it takes a while to become civil with them (mine was different as we weren't officially dating and he used me to cheat on his gf). I agree with what TyRawr said above, once you become civil with one another then you can move to understanding.

And it's still a very awkward/almost upsetting feeling for me to know that he is now engaged to that gf, and i will most likely be going to the wedding...

 

Then please do. That is perfectly OK to cry in such a situation and far better than bottling up sadness and anger. Call a friend or stay alone if you prefer, put some music on if you want to, hug your pillow and let it go. You'll feel better afterward.
Many (*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*) to you, Cécile

 

LEt your sadness and anger out its not healthy to keep it bottle up. Give yourself time its the only thing that will help you move on.