I'm 19 and in the last year i came out to my best friend and have struggled for several years with the idea of being gay and or bi, and i have found something kind of odd and am wondering if others have found this. I watch porn probably no more than the average bear (no pun intended ;] )and when i do, it is usually to see the women, but i never watch any gay porn. for some reason i prefer to fantasize about men in contrast to women. does anyone else feel/felt like that? P.S. I'm very confused about my sexuality =/
Hmm, well first of all welcome to EC, this is the perfect place to find yourself. I can say that I have experienced that before, however, since I have discovered myself more and more, I have noticed that I like the fantasy of two men allot more. You could very well be bisexual, however, have you considered fantasizing about the penetration of a an other man? I dont know, perhaps try and integrate gay porn into your routine, or even perhaps try and not use porn at all. Fantasizing on your own will improve your sex life later on, and may bring more clarity to your situation.
Hi, and welcome to EC. Good that you've joined and are seeking out clarification to understand what's going on for you. What you've described is one of the most commonly asked questions here, and Ty has given you some good info. I'll add that usually when one is in the process of exploring their sexuality and thinking maybe they're other than completely straight... there's a lot of stuff going on between your conscious and unconscious mind. For example, lots of guys watch only straight porn so they can *convince* themselves they are looking at the women, when in reality they're really looking more at the men. Dunno if this applies to you, but it's common. So... most everyone goes through a period where they play these denial games to rationalize that they're really straight when they are not, because nearly everyone who eventually recognizes they're gay or bisexual did NOT want that when it first started coming into their consciousness. What I'd suggest is spending some time exploring your feelings honestly. When you look at people on the street, is it the guys or the girls that catch your eye? When you masturbate, is it guys or girls you are thinking about. And... try some gay porn. The fact you haven't makes me wonder if maybe you're afraid of checking it out, for fear you'll find out the truth. Going through the process of understanding yourself isn't the easiest, but I think once you work it through, wherever you end up -- gay, bi or straight -- you'll come to a place where you can love and be totally happy with yourself.
Thank you very much. It's good to know that people feel the same way i do and have come to similar conclusions. I am trying to explore who i am and what i want as extensively as possible, but its very hard for me given my location/situation. This place seems like it will help a lot. And once again thank you for the advice and comfort =]
