Wrestlers/Sports team members please help

First off hello. I used to wrestle a bit but I didn't really like it. Anyways as far as your teammates reactions goes honestly you can't control how they feel but you gotta show them that you are still you. Best of luck to you if you do come out to them.

 

I am in complete agreement with with what Rikudo said. I am not a wrestler, Im a dancer, so its a little more obvious that Im gay. However, my close friend was a wrestler, and played many other sports as well, and from my understanding his team mates were pretty understanding, and to be honest allot of them ended up being gay as well. Wrestling is of those kinds of sports that attract the "hidden" individuals.

I can not predict their reactions, but make a good judgment, and just remember that coming out is not for their benefit. It is for yours my friend. Even if they do not accept you, understand that each persons unacceptence roots from their own insecurities. If they react badly then it is their inability to see the truth. You are the same person you were, you are their friend, and it is their stupid defenses that have destroyed it.

That however like I said is not always the case, if anything, just play it off. Act as if being bi is nothing new, and is not a big deal. Im sure you guys all joke around, they probably make some homophobic remarks, and you talk about girls, and horse around. Which also consists of making fun of one another sometimes (men are weird), so act like this is nothing if it starts be become a big deal. Joke around with it, and dont take yourself so seriously if they offend you on accident.

 

I came out to my team a while ago (I'm a hockey player btw) and I have to say mostly everything has been great. I think most sports teams are the same in the sense that they tend to rip on eachother for different things, for example my friend bought and old horse and now we say he bought the horse from family guy, another guy has a new girlfriend every week and we rip him for that, and when we have this sort of playful banter the thing I get ripped on for is of course being the gay one. Now I know if someone else ripped on me or bullied me for being gay the team would look after me, in the same way as I would look after them if they needed anything. The message of this long and drawn out rant is that if youre prepared to take some jokes in a playful manner, then chances are the team won't even bat an eyelid about it. Try testing the water with someone you're closer to on the team then work through the rest of them. Good luck

 

I've generally found that people on sports teams don't actually have much of a negative reaction to this. In fact, when I was still able to get people to keep it a secret, everyone on my soccer team was ok with it. It's like being in a big, tight knit family. They come to respect you more, and are less shocked by things like this.

 

I've done judo my whole life which, in Hawai'i anyway, is pretty close to wrestling as a good majority of wrestlers also do judo and visa versa, so I can kinda see where you're coming from. The way I see it, coming out to teammates is kinda the same process as coming out to friends and family. Eventually (Ideally) you want to be open with everyone but if you don't feel comfortable telling a certain teammate because he might not be able to handle it, then that person really doesn't need to know right this moment does he? Like the others have said, maybe start telling team mates who you're closest to and you can work on the more questionable ones later.
Now if you're wondering how exactly to break it to them...well I can't help you there. I haven't exaclty come out to many people much less to any of my teammates...but good luck anyway

 

I can completely understand where you are coming from. I've been playing many sports football, wrestling, and ect.) on a varsity level and I had to face the same decision whether to come out to them or not to come out. If you do come out there is something in pyschology called a schema (or a stigma), this is all the emotions, senses, knowledge, and feelings your brain has on a certain subject. For example, my schema for the sport of ice skating is that it is a gay sport. Now when you come out to your team, they will have a preconcieved notion of what a gay/bi person is in their mind. There brains will try to mix their schema of YOU and the schema of a gay/bi person together, rather then alter it. This will cause a period where they might avoid, dislike, tease, or isolate you while they try to reconfigure their schemas.

The best thing you can do is be honest. You trust your team mates because they are part of your team right? When I told my football team, I told them that, "I'm telling you guys this because *you* have the right to know this first and because I trust you."
As long as they realize that you are still who you where before coming out, then eventually they will get over it! Hope everything works out! Feel free to drop me a wall mssg too!