OK I'm sure that there are tons of other people who have this problem but it's like really serious with this guy. So, there's this guy who is a rower with me. He is funny, smart, EFFING GOURGEOUS, nice.... OMG he's perfect. But the thing is, he's straight. I fantasize about being with him... hugging him... kissing him... oh my god I can't take it. :tears: He's so my type and everything that I just CANNOT get over him. I know nothing will ever happen between us but I want him so bad... any suggestions? :help:
Hi there! First off, (*hug*) Getting over a crush is not easy and it will take some time. You know that he is straight and you have recognized and know that nothing can ever happen between the two of you. As hard as it is, but this is also your starting point for moving on. The first thing to do would be to remind yourself, that he is straight. The second thing would be to bring him down from the pedestal again, on which you have placed him, by telling yourself that no one is 'perfect.' In some ways, having this crush on him, allows you to learn what you are looking for in someone. Now you know what some of the characteristics are that a potential guy, with whom it could work out, should have. Use that to find the guy that you actually can ask out. It is okay to led it all out, shed some tears and punch the pillows. In moving on, try to spend more time with your friends, try to create some new friends, join an activity in your community centre or perhaps even a LGBT youth support or social group (if possible). By getting to know new people and talking to others, you will be able to move on as you start concentrating on other things. Yes, you will still be seeing him on the rowing team and be in contact with him, but as you try to do all the other things, you will come to see him in a different light, eventually as well. Hope this helps a bit!
I'm so sorry about this! I was in a similar boat just a week and a half ago, although he was my second crush at the time, so it isn't nearly as bad as yours likely is. The only thing you can do, really, is accept that there's no way you'll have him. Once you recognize this, it becomes easier to bring him off of your internal pedestal, as Mirko said. Really, Mirko's given most of the advice I was thinking of and then some... so, know that I feel your pain, and I know you can get through this! (*hug*)
Oh dear! :icon_sad: I'm so sorry...I've been through exactly the same. Nothing I can really add to what Mirko said either - it certainly makes it harder if you're around him alot too. I think to remove him from that high plinth is good advice; it's always the way with crushes that we take them as being flawless and ourselves as vile ogres. The important thing is to recognise both ourselves and our crush interests as being merely human. All the best! W.
Dude I feel your pain. I'm in the same boat...well not exactly the same but anayways the biggest thing for me is to stop fantasizing. I find it really hard to "take him off the pedestal" because everytime you fantasize, everytime you daydream about kissing him or hugging him, everytime you try to notice the little things, try to think "What if?" that's when he goes right back up there. You know he's straight, you know there's no possible way that this thing is going to work out, but it's the damn fantasizing that pulls you back under. So what can you do? Not sure. I mean, like I said I'm still crushing head-over-heels for some guy I can't have so apparently I haven't discovered the secret yet. All I can say is to stop yourself from thinking about him. Every time you think about him you renew those feelings, so I believe it's best to think about something else. Like Mirko said, move on. Spend time with your friends, join a group, etc. Just try to get him out of your head and every time you catch yourself thinking about him, stop yourself and try hard to switch to a different topic. It's difficult, I know (all too well) but that's the best I can come up with. Good luck
Ok Ace, Im sorry about this :/ He is not your type! You have contradicted yourself: >>>He's perfect. But the thing is, he's straight. You cannot change who a person is. He is straight, in the same way that you are gay. There is nothing wrong with wanting someone who has many of the same qualities. But it is not ok to obsess over something impossible. My honest suggestion? Separate yourself from him. The only way to promote happiness in this is to remove yourself from the situation. Its going to be SO HARD, but you need to do it. Because I dont want to see you miserable, and neither does anyone else on EC. Try and focus on why you like him, try and focus on why you wouldn't. There are so many people out there Ace, gay, loving, kind people. Dont waist yourself on someone that who cannot bring you intimacy, and miss an opportunity for true happiness. I hope this helps.
^That really opened my eyes. Thank you. There's only like a week or two of school left so I'll just have to survive seeing him every day for like 8 days
Yeah, if he's straight, you don't have a chance with him. Sorry, but it's the truth. You need to keep yourself away from him, and you have to keep him out of your thoughts. If you keep thinking about him, wanting to be with him, you'll only make it worse for yourself. And with all of that, you may accidentally slip up and tell him how you feel if you keep thinking about it. It's gonna be hard, but you'll get over him in time. Just keep looking for the right person and I'm sure you'll find him soon enough.
Its very hard to get over a crush; especially if you've fallen in love with them. I seem to have that problem.
Damn it! I'm in the same situation. I have a huge crush on a guy in my drama class. Today he did a duet with his girlfriend where they both sang "As Long as You're Mine" from Wicked to each other. I can't even describe how jealous I was of the girl. Just don't let it get to you too much, I think every gay guy has an obligatory crush on a straight guy at some point.
I think every gay guy has an obligatory crush on a straight guy at some point. -- ^Oh definitely. XD BTW I love that song in your signature. It's stuck in my head.
