My friend, M, and I have been reslly good friends since last year. Just yesterday I came out to him. He was cool with it, slightly shocked. Didn't have many questions. I explained it all to him. But the week before we were talkng about problems i was having. He said he understood since he had family problems and stuff...a secret. Everytime I mention it, he backs off and doesn't want to talk about it. My theory, or just maybe hope, is that hes gay or bi or atleast bicurious. My only reasoning for this is because he says he has no questions but then when I mention it, he wants to know who I like. Same with my best friend...who is also bi... Bt things don't add up. H's had plenty of girlfriends, very straight, and well opposite me. If he is, I'm there for him, which he knows. Everything doesn't add up. I don't want to confront him about it so irdk. Advice?
I'd respect his comfort zone but be honest with him as much as is reasonable and comfortable for you if he does have questions. And be confident in yourself and comfortable in your own skin and your own sexuality and if he is bicurious or anything, hopefully he'll realize it's not a big deal by you acting like it's not a big deal but that it is what it is: a legit and perfectly normal way of existence. Then if he is at all questioning his own sexual orientation, he might have the confidence to explore it.
Give him a week or three before any major conversations relating to much of anything about your being gay. He is probably digesting and processing what you said, and that takes time. I don't think you can assume that he's bi or bi-curious just from what you've said, but it's always a possibility. I would probably wait quite a while before I directly bring up anything that might address his being gay or bi, simply because if he is, he may not have dealt with it yet, and if he isn't, it could really impact your friendship. Best course, in my opinion: Patience, letting him call the shots as far as topics of conversation relating at all to sex, and just see what transpires
Thanks guys. Lately I've been, as he refers to it, 'interviewing' him. Yet still I've got nothing. He seems to avoid in depth about...well, anything. He's not a loner; very popular in fact. How we became friends, I'll never know. And I'm starting to think that me thinking he's gay or bi or whatever is just my crush on him talking. But there's a slight inkling that thinks something is still up
Give him time...you don't wanna ask him too many questions and make him nervous. Don't force him out of the closet (if he is LGBT) or scare him off with all of your questions (if he's straight)
Ik Ace...ik. My determination is that he's straight. I guess my crushing side like's to talk for me...