This is kinda of random, awkward (for me at least), a little desperate, every other adjective you can think of that fits with the rest of the other ones. For some background info that could help, I'm probably 110% gay, my friends and everyone knows except my parents. Also after I graduated high school I lost contact with everyone I ran to for advice, and who wants to run to their parents if they're so closed minded? Anyways, recently my band launched a, I guess, mini tour. After fighting with my other band members, they let me bring my boyfriend with us. So we ended up speding a lot of time with him. In the last few months we've actually been back in his hometown with his family and everything, then we decided to take our relationship a little bit further. So, like last week we actually did and now Im slightly afraid of myself. (And yes when I say "Take our relationship to the next level" im referring to sex. It just made it less awkward for a minute) Anyways, after that whole thing happened, he practically broke down. I really don't how to deal with that. I was with him all night (who leaves after THAT?) but it was like he was shaking all night and kinda distant. It was his first time, and I know sometimes you can freak out after, but I don't get why he was like that ALL night and most of the day. I'm actually starting to get worried and wonder if I did something wrong.
you can never be too sure until you ask him. don't be shy, your worried for his mental well being, and no one should ever be shy about something like that. Good Luck
First off, welcome to EC! I hope you enjoy it here! At this point, it is my opinion that you need to respect his space, but let him know that you are there for him. Tell him you're worried about him, but don't force the issue. It's very likely that what happened wasn't what he expected, and he'll get over it in time. It's also likely that it's something deeply personal that he doesn't want to talk about. There's no way to know without asking, but if you pry too deeply beyond where he wants to speak, then you won't be helping. Be patient, and be open. Good luck!
Hi and welcome to EC I think the best thing you can do is to be open about your worries with your boyfriend. Tell him that you understand it was his first time and that it was a very special moment for both of you, but that he seemed to have a very strong reaction and that you're now worried that you did something wrong. Let him know you love him and that all that matters to you is his well being. If you have the feeling he is uncomfortable talking about it, don't push him, but let him know that if anything is bothering him, he can open up to you with no fear. I hope this can help a little. Take care, Cécile
Some peaple cannot handle vulnerability. Think about sex for a moment, it is when you are most vulnerable to someone. From vulnerability comes happiness, sadness, fear, anger, shame and guilt. Much of what he may have been experiencing are some of his emotions coming up. Does he repress emotion? My guess would be yes. Regardless of the matter, the reason he is upset is not because of you. Support him, love him, and talk to him. Communication is one of our best forms of vulnerability. Lean into the discomfort, and understand one another. You cant do it with out talking my friend. I hope this helps a little.
