i can already tell that this is going to be long. i’m so angry. i hate being angry, and yet, every day it seems inevitable. a main part of my anger is from my family. my mom is overbearing, hypocritical and childish, while my brother who has some issues (ADHD and some other stuff) is horrible. his entire life my mom has made excuses for his actions, so now he does whatever he wants and when he gets in trouble he goes. “well, i was tired and crabby” or maybe he says “i couldn’t help it”. because he’s always had excuses, he’s never gotten in any real trouble and so now he acts however the hell he wants! my mom will get mad and like slam cupboards and yell and stuff, but if i evr tell him to leave me alone b/c he’s making me so angry, and i don’t want to yell at him, i am told to “be more patient. he can’t help it.” and then he’ll grin at me and go back to whatever it was he was doing, lik reading my mail over my shoulder or something. it pisses me off!!!!!! i can’t really describw what it is about my family that is must so angering, but others get angry at my family when they’re over, so it isn’t just me….and they’re (my mom and brother) are arguing right now. they’re so loud and i wish they’d must SHUT UP!!!!! my family expects me to be the “normal” one, because my sister and my brother both have “issues” (my sister suffers from depression and used to cut) but i don’t want to be the “normal” one. i want to be me. bisexualism isn’t normal (in their point of view), so if i said anything, i might just crash they’re world, where i’m the “normal” daughter. the one they never need to worry about. care about. i hate the pressure they put on me. so i escape by lying. i do whatever the hell i want (which isn’t life really bad or anything—i mean, no drugs, no alcohol, no sex, no cigarettes) and lie about it to them. i’m also angry at myself. i procrastinate and slack off in school. i have mostly A’s and the rest are B’s, but i could get all A’s if i tried. and i want the A’s, i just don’t want to do the work, and i can’t seem to force myself to do it. i also hav low self-esteem and i’m angry about that too. it seems lik i’m angry at everything and it physically hurts. i feel like i hav a weight in my chest that won’t go away.
(*hug*) I'm sorry to hear that things are so tense for you. I was in a similar position when I lived at home as well. I have two younger brothers. One of them is handicapped and the other got away with anything because he fit into the mold that my parents seemed to want for all of us: a jock. Heck, he was even caught with drugs at least once that I know of before he got out of high school and never really got punished for it. And somehow, that translated to me that I needed to do better. I needed to be smarter and more popular, etc. I did manage to really excel in art and music, which made my parents proud of me in those respects... but it didn't ever feel like enough. So, I guess what I'm getting at is that you should just be you. Every person has quirks about them. If your sibilings can get away with having a less-than-ideal life, there's no reason that you can't either. I don't recommend becoming rebellious, of course, but it is important to know that in a few years your family life will probably take a back seat to other things. I guess what I'm advocating is to be yourself. In truth, if you keep lying to your parents, you're going to start feeling more and more like a "problem child" when in fact you're probably coping with your differences the best. You can only become your parents "perfect child" when they realize that you're perfect as you are. (&&&)
i've been lying to my parents since 7th grade. i'm in 11th grade now. my parents don't kno me. and if i told the truth, i'd instantly be in trouble for like 10 things. and i could deal with that. but they wouldn't understand y i'd lied. i don't agree w/ their views and so i didn;t openly contradict them. the thing is, once in awhile i do contradict, and they get mad. and that i don't want to deal with that. i've become a person of many faces. i have different personalities for different people. evr since i had no friends for lik a whole year, i've had a wall. and if i break down that wall, i don't want them to be the first people in.
I'm going to be boringly practical, but consider this. The better the qualifications you can get at school, the better your chances of getting a decent job or into college or university. Any of which are opportunities to get away from home and away from all the crap you are having to face there. So maybe that could be some motivation for doing the best you can and aiming for straight A's. You'd be doing it completely for your own benefit - your qualifications could be your ticket out of this and onto better things, so make them as good as you possibly can.
well, my house is crazy, but not that crazy... It sounds like your parents dont know how to deal with an ADHD child, or they expect too much from you, or both, idk. I know this sounds a bit crazy, but you might want to take the entire family in for counseling, or something like that, it might help. For the meanwhile, you should try stress and anger management practices, like meditation (or something that relaxes you). Also, make sure you are getting enough alone time every day, I always make sure I do, because other people can stress me out. Umm... for school, I sort of feel the same way you do. But if I get organized, and sit down with a to do list, and a study schedule, I can get everything done and I make better grades. I have no idea how organized you are, but if you get more organized, this may help -Bryan
I know what it feels like to have a brother favored, and I especially know what it feels like when he gets his way. Trust me, it's normal for you to feel this way. Just work really hard in school and try to get out of there a.s.a.p.
i kno. there's a slim chance i'm gonna go to any school less than a couple hours away. i don't want to be really close to my house. i hav a lot of problems w/ my family, some of which i mentioned earlier. as for family counseling, they would nevr believe they needed counseling. me, maybe, if i said how i really felt, but them?: never. i just wish for once they would punish my brother, not be hypocritical, and maybe stop the yelling. i can deal w/ the way they don't lik/listen to my opinions, but everythign else just pisses me off. the thing is, i don't hav a lot of chances to meditate and stuff, it's so loud in my house. the computer is my way of de-stressing, but it's right in the middle of the house... anyway, i'm just tired of being angry and hating my home life most of the time. i love my family, but i hate so many things about them.
Do you have the possiblility to have some anger management with at councellor. You said your parents might accept therapy for you. From my point of view I think you are justified in your anger, anyone in your position would feel angry and frustrated, but you are going to have to live with this at least for another few years while you finish your education so the only solution is to learn methods to deal with these feelings but this is almost impossible on your own. Please, ask your parents to put you into some sort of therapy. You could just say that you are feeling really low, lonely, lost... whatever and feel that you need some help sorting things out in your head. This might avoid akward questions. I can tell you all sorts of reasons why your parents react like this, but that is not really the problem here. They may have reasons but that does not make them right or justify how they treat you.
my parents would never accept that i wanted to c a counselor w/o wanting to kno exactly why. they would ask a million questions that i wouldn't want to answer in fear of hurting and/or angering them. plus, i've completely changed their view of me before and they reacted really badly. when i was younger, a few years ago, they found out i had looked at some porn and they flipped out. my mom especially. she was saying how it was disgusting, horrible, unthinkable and perverted. they were distrustful of me for lik 2 years, and still are a little. i think it would just cause more problems for them to kno that i was angry. i would go to a school counselor, but my mom works at the school... does anyone kno if there's some online thing maybe? this is probably the only way i could get help w/ this, at least until i go to college.
