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Here we go...

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Vegas, May 22, 2011.

  1. Vegas

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    Hey there :slight_smile:
    First post here :slight_smile:

    I don't even know where to start but here goes.
    I'm currently 17years old and my head is going all over the place.
    I've just dumped my boyfriend of 11months (I've been wanting to end it for about 5 months but could never bring myself to do it) The whole time I was hoping he would dump me or I could find something to dump him over but i finally did it and told him i no longer loved him.

    (Sorry if this post seems confusing, im very confused at the moment)

    I want to be straight, i see myself with a wife and kids in future but i always get turned on by guys more then girls. (Aka i pleasure myself over gay porn) - but have done it over straight (lesbian) porn since the break up. Whilst i was in this relationship i always wanted to be with another girl (sometimes a guy) but always wanted to be able to walk down the straight hugging and kissing a girl. I've also never done anything with a girl, but have gone the whole way with a guy.


    Please help me, i'm so confused with myself :frowning2:

    Thankyou
    (&&&)

    (This probably makes no sense :L)
     
  2. Ecap1

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    I just answered a similar question recently so I'll just repeat what I said.

    Trust me, you're not the only one who wants to be straight. I mean there's nothing wrong with being gay of course, but the society makes it seem like there is. We live in a world where a lot of people see homo/bisexuality as abnormal, and that is what makes us wish we were straight so we could just do "normal" things that "normal" people do like be able to hold hands in the streets or kiss in public.

    I don't really know how to help you because I'm dealing with a similar situation, but I'm pretty sure it starts with self-acceptance (since there is no way we can turn straight). We first need to stop wishing we were straight and just accept that we are attracted to guys. I don't think anything can make sense until we get step 1 out of the way.
     
  3. Vegas

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    It's not that i care what people say but more that i want to be with a woman but a little bit of me wants to be with a man. Maybe im bisexual? (confusion)
     
  4. Ecap1

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    Have you tried going out with a girl?
     
  5. Vegas

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    Yeah plenty, and i'm really interested in my ex but shes taken now so its like hard to find someone as i've only been single for 2 days :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
     
  6. ballin1718

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    omg im kinda in the same boat. I just posted on here for the first time because I just turned 20 two days ago and I've known I've had feelings for guys more than girls for a while (even though I feel for both) and I'm finally at my wits end.

    I've dont everything with a girl, but sadly have done ABSOLUTELY nothing with guys ever. I'm too scared to come out as gay or bi even though I'm in college and I don't know what to do either. The majority of the time I use gay porn, but sometimes I use guy/girl porn and focus on the guy. IDK what I want with myself and I'm basically just confused.

    Hang in there its tough for me too because only in the last few days when I've basically cried myself to sleep because of my confusion, and have never been depressed or anything before that. Good luck and chat with me whenever maybe we can figure ourselves out together (even though you've luckily got to experience anything with a guy lol)
     
  7. Ecap1

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    ^See, told you you're not the only one! Lol!
     
  8. silverhalo

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    Hey welcome to EC.
     
  9. Gumtree

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    Do you want to be straight, or do you just want to fit into a demigraphic that wants you to?

    It's a trick question, because the reality is without the influence of what 'society' wants you to be, you can't possibly have a preference.

    The easiest solution is to take an emotionless approach to your question, and make it all about 'the physical'.

    Remember, sexuality is about what you're PHYSICALLY attracted to, it has nothing to do with what kind of lifestyle you want to live, who you want to walk down the street with or how many children you want to have in your suburban home with your wife, dog, 2 cats and a rabbit.

    What are you physically attracted to?

    And don't answer with what you're feeling right now. Think about what you have been attracted to for the last 5 years, because there's a good chance your recent relationship could be affecting your 'desires'.

    To me, I get the impression you're pretty gay.
     
    #9 Gumtree, May 24, 2011
    Last edited: May 24, 2011
  10. Vegas

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    I've always felt "not good enough" for the girls i like.
    With guys it seems they are a lot more easy so i decided to settle with that.

    Thing is i know i want to have a wife not think :slight_smile: