Hi all, this is about to get crazy- i am getting there just typing this, but there is a lot to this story and part of why i am confused now...soo let me start from the beginning... with my first crush K...I spent about 2 years wondering what it would be like to kiss her and then i started to think about her constantly and almost told her how i felt but chickened out at the last minute...she is the one i used to think about before i went to bed and always thought about us being together and this was around the time i started to question my sexuality...i bring this up because this is how i realized i was anything but straight... soo go ahead about 2 years to when i met my current best friend Matt- who is gay and helped me to come out and then found out that i have a crush on him... we have been extremely close and he knows me really well... i feel like he also has a crush on me and in fact i told him last week that i still had a crush on him and he was kinda confused i think cause he was asking me if i wasn't a lesbian, or if i was bi or what and i told him that was part of it... sooo then, for the 3rd part in all this, i have been talking to a girl online who is older than i am and i love it and matt and her know about each other and she is bi and i would love to have an online thing with her and also see where it goes with him- if anywhere... Matt and I are extremely close and part of the reason i think he likes me is because when i bring it up, we stop talking about it and for the first time since having that conversation, he DIDN't tell me it couldn't happen between us.... the confusing part in all this for me is the fact that i am once again questioning my sexuality.... i came out originally as a lesbian and now i am considering that i may be bi... or not... has this happened to anyone and how do you figure it out without driving yourself crazy in the process?
I feel like I post this in a lot of people's threads, but it's REALLY helpful and I felt better after I heard about it. The Kinsey Scale So check that out. I'm a Kinsey 5, so definitely pretty far toward the gay side of the spectrum. But, there was one guy who I sort of had a thing for and then I kept wondering if I could still be a lesbian. And the answer is yes. Labels matter much less to me now, knowing that there is another way to describe how I feel. Kinsey 5. it works perfectly for me.
The trick is to try to not figure it out and accept your sexuality for what it is. You can think about every single variable and situation, but at the end it won't really matter as long as you are happy. If you think you might be interested in guys then go for it. Now, going for a gay friend is going to complicate a lot of things, but if you really want you can go for it while knowing that it can get very messy. The easiest thing to do is to always start with facts. For you, right now, is that: - You like girls for sure - You might like your friend Thats it. Try to not focus on any other variables for now
Thanks for the reply!! before i wrote this i was sitting here jumbling everything up in one pile and going nuts over it...i opened up a can of worms when i told my friend last week and the one thing i know is that i do have feelings for him... i often find myself dreaming about him and thinking of him constantly.. plus i get jealous when he is hanging out with his friends who are girls....i have been thinking about this before i told him and i knew it would make things complicated, but i just HAD to tell him... he was a little confused after i told him because he was asking if i was still lesbian, or bi or what? i may of put this in there but if not, here it is...the one thing he didn't tell me was that it wouldn't/couldn't happen between us- so that made me wonder if he has been having the same thoughts as me.... i am a little nervous about talking to him because i was the one who brought this up again.... and we haven't talked since.... that was a week ago.... ---------- Post added 23rd May 2011 at 03:01 AM ---------- @the dreamwatch- hmmm.. .the Kinsey Scale... i have heard about this but hadn't thought much about it... i am going to do some reading up on it and see what i can figure out...
Honestly, I think the best thing to do would be for you to try to get over your crush for him. Its a very messy situation already and it has already been affecting your friendship with him. Also, definitely look the kinsey Scale up. Its a a great tool to try and understand just how fluid our sexuality can be.
hey all. thanks for the advice so far!! i talked to him yesterday and he told me that there is no chance of us happening... so for awhile i am taking time for myself and focusing on what i want to do...i am kinda bummed but trying not to dwell on it and he was actually very sweet- after he told me what he had to say, we took off for a little bit and he brought me to work and then tried to lighten the mood cause i was mentally out of it and we werent really talking much... and that's all there is, there isnt anymore...
