help need advice. My names Tyler and I live in a big catholic society, my schools catholic, my parents, friends, and so on. And I've come to terms that I like men. How can I come out to people? The only person who knows is a friend I met online that understands that I can't tell others easily. I have a twin but when I asked him how he felt if I was, he said he'd fear I'd find him attracted and it'd become awkward, Nvr know if he's joking. My parents are anal christians and I don't know how they'd react. My uncle came out long ago and my dad still has a bad relationship with him. At times I have an urge to stand up and scram my true feelings. I also don't have a friend to tell cause I get shit every day for other things so this would just be more for them to use. I feel alone at times and an wondering what to do. Also no openly gay guys at my school:icon_sad:
Try coming out to your closest friend first, and gauge where you want to go from there based on their reaction. I'm not completely out yet, but just telling someone is the most liberating feeling ever. Hopefully your friend will be supportive, like mine were. Just make sure you're ready to take that big step! And you'll always have support and plenty of love here if you're still feeling insecure!(*hug*)
I feel like it would be good to come out to your twin. I don't know how close you two are, but from what I've witnessed twins have a very special bond. And based on his response, well, I think he'd take it well. He said it might get awkward if you find him attractive, but the thing is you won't (he's your brother...), and you need to tell him that to put his worries to rest. All you need is one person to tell stuff to, and you'll feel a huge load off your chest. Good luck bro.
Well my twins the one I'm most afraid to tell. And my friends give me shut for being autistic. So yeah..... And I truly don't have a best friend :-( well theyres a girl I talk to everyday but idk if I can tell her, maybe. In glad I found this website and everyone here to talk to. And when I do the pressure will be off of me and I'll feel happy again. Also the guy I met online is named jay. Me and jay have been talking and swapping pics and info. We r wanting to meet, what do u think, and yes I cn trust him and I know lots about him. We r wanting to start dating as well.
Well at 17 I'm sure you've got a pretty good sense of who's an online predator and who's for real. If you feel like Jay is trustworthy, go for it. Just make sure you meet in a public place like a Starbucks or something. I say don't worry about dating yet, because he's pretty much the only one in your support network right now and you don't wanna mess that up. I mean sure if things go that way then go for it, but don't plan on it.
Couple thoughts: If you already asked your twin how he'd feel if you were gay, you sorta outed yourself to him already So when you do tell him, he will have already had time to think about it, and won't be very shocked or surprised. Secondly, on the issue of your online friend, a couple basic questions -- How old is this person? If he's more than 2 or 3 years older than you, that's potentially problematic. -- Do you know for a fact that the person you're talking to is who he says he is? As in, have you actually seen him on a live webcam, or have you asked him to verify himself to you in any other way (other than by sending a bunch of still pics)? While he may be totally fine, you do need to take extra precautions. I suggest that you actually see the person on webcam (preferably not involving either of you removing any clothes) or, if he doesn't have a webcam, ask him to take a pic just for you, of him doing somethign really weird (for example, holding a can of soup while making a strange face.) This minimizes the chances that he is using someone else's pictures. If he's reluctant to do either of these, or makes excuses, I'd insist on at least one of those before you meet in person; I've talked to way too many people who have either found that their "friend" was an overweight, balding 50 year old, or otherwise was using someone else's pictures, which generally means he's got a ton of problems you probably don't want to get involved with. I don't mean to rain on your parade, but being thoughtful and cautious is really wise because online predators are at epidemic levels. If you do decide to meet, I also suggest talking on the phone first, and meeting at a public place (starbucks, library, community center, etc.) and leaving yourself a convenient out if you need to leave quickly. Also, tell a friend that you're going to be meeting, where you are, what time, and arrange to check in afterwards. All of this may sound like overkill, but it provides you with a level of safety to minimize the possibilty of potential problems. Do keep us informed, and feel free to ask for clarification if you haven't gotten the answers you were after
Ah, Hope Ty doesn't mind me posting here. And hopefully not breaking any forum rules posting.. I'm that Jay that my sweetie was talking about. Don't worry, I'm just an 18 year old who happened to fall for this guy. @OP/Ty: Found this post as I was bored and thought I might google you and see what I find. @Chip: Soup Can.. That's a rather clever idea, I'll have to remember that.
