Hey all, I'm having a weird quarter life crisis or something right now, and maybe that's really normal for people in their early twenties, but I just need some help deciding where to go from here. I'm pretty set with my sexuality and my identity that way. I'm okay with my SELF, I just need to figure out what I'm DOING now. I'm in school. Which is good. I'm doing well for the first time in a long time. See, I was at a different school and I got kicked out because I hadn't made a "meaningful progress toward graduation". Long and not very important story there, but suffice to say that at my new school I've been thriving and challenged and successful and now that I'm finally on my two feet with everything in my life (school, coming out, family issues, my mental health problems...) I have time to think about what I would like to do with my life. For a long time I thought I might want to be a therapist, so I spent two years studying psychology. Then I decided that that wasn't the career for me. Then, i came out, so I was thinking that maybe I would like to study sociology and LGBT studies and maybe work with young people who are struggling with their sexuality. Like maybe I'd open up a center for queer youth to have a safe space. That seemed like the thing that I could be passionate about, and so for the last six months or so, I've been basically planning on doing that. Now I'm reconsidering AGAIN and I hate myself a little bit for my indecisiveness here, but honestly, if I'm having doubts, why should I spend my time and effort and money on something that I don't completely want? I do want to do that, but there's this other thing... I took a fantastic philosophy class this semester. I felt inspired. I think differently, I write a lot (which I had stopped doing for a long time), I feel like I never want to leave school. I always want more. I want to go to my professors' offices during their office hours and talk more about life and what it means. I have never had a passion quite like this before. Not ever about anything. In a perfect world, I'd major in philosophy and teach. Then I'd write books too. That would be absolutely ideal, but it seems like such a big risk, considering the fact that that job market can't be real big. It's a lot of school too. I'd AT LEAST need a master's degree and I'm already behind. Can I really change my major again? Can I really do this? Should I? I think I want to, but I'm scared. I'm scared that I'll fail and not be able to find a job. I'm scared that I'm making the wrong decision, and that I shouldn't be such a dreamer. I'm scared too, to go against what I feel strongly about just because it seems rational to do so....so what do I do now? Anybody been through anything like this before or have any advice? I'd really appreciate it. I just feel like I don't know who else to ask.
I'll pass on some advice that helped me once "do what makes you happy, and damn the consequences" so long as you don't hurt anyone
That's great advice really and in any other aspect of my life I would follow it wholeheartedly. I am a huge fan of doing what's best for my happiness. But my worry is that I might be irreparably damaging not only my current academic career but myself as a person who is looking for a steady career career in the future.
Have you thought about taking on philosophy and creative writing as a double minor? Or doing a double major?
Short version: DO IT!!!! Long version: So, you've never had a passion like this before, eh? I believe it! It'll be tough to switch majors and to pursue a career which seems out of reach (or at least extremely unlikely) but if you have that passion, then you will be able to do it! Doing what drives you is extremely important. Will you be happy working a safespace for LGBT youth? Maybe, but that's not what you're feeling and wanting to do right now. You said you're scared to go against what you feel strongly about just because it seems rational. So, what would rationality have you do? What would you turn to, if not what you want to pursue? Passionless pursuit is not nearly as rewarding as passion-filled pursuit, so I'd say that if you have never felt a passion as deep as the one you feel right now, you should go for it! Also, while your fear is understandable, remember that many others have done the same thing you wish to do. I think you can do it, and I think you'll find that once you start, you'll wonder why you were ever afraid! Good luck! (I realize you have financial and schedule concerns. Those concerns are important, but if you increase your debt/time investment to get to your passion, then the payoff in terms of life fulfillment will definitely be greater than the extra years of school you have to go through.)
I have for sure thought about double majoring. My worry is that it's yet ANOTHER major switch in my already kind of chaotic school record. The other thing is, I could major in philosophy and creative writing (which I hadn't thought about until you just said that, but it's definitely an interesting idea) but that doesn't alleviate my concerns about not being able to find/have a steady job when I'm done with all this school... :/ ---------- Post added 23rd May 2011 at 12:46 AM ---------- This is a good point. Thank you. Also, I just realized that if every person who is passionate about something in a small field like philosophy decided not to do it because it's too uncertain, then no one would ever do it and that's sad. So maybe I should get together with my advisor and my favorite philosophy professor and have a couple good talks about what the heck I'm doing here.
There's often a major concern in college that if you choose the "wrong" major, you're shutting the door on 98% of all possible jobs, including the "right" job for you. And over and over again, I see this theory proven wrong. For one thing, it seems the degree matters far more than the major. I know a massage tech who majored in film, a TV music composer who majored in sociology, a journalist who majored in the sciences, and an investment banker who majored in art. If additional training IS necessary down the line, it seems it's always do-able somehow. Also, it's easy to think everybody else has their future all mapped out by the time they're sixteen. Some do, but far more don't. There's a lot of trying this, and giving that a whirl. And it seems a lot of people get some random job "just to pay the bills" for a bit, and find some aspect of it that they absolutely love...which ends up changing their plans yet again. One wise man once said, "Plan your life...in pencil."* Go ahead and chase your (current) dream. Things will sort themselves out. Lex * - OK, it wasn't a wise man. It was Jon Bon Jovi. It's still a smart thing to say.
Thanks Lex. This helped. And who said Mr. Bon Jovi never had any wise moments? lol I guess I gotta take a little bit of risk to get what I want and you're right, new things will pop up on the way and who knows what I'll be doing in five, ten years. But right now, I gotta do what I think is best for myself. It's funny you said that people don't always work in their field of study in college, because both my parents work in different areas of computers and they both studied psychology... Well, philosophy it is then. I just gotta talk to some people at school, fill out some papers and continue to sign up for classes that keep me awake at night in a good way...
