Hey guys! First off, thanks for all your help. You guys helped me initiate the coming out process and you don't know how grateful I am for that. <3 (*hug*) Anyway, I met this gay kid my age a while ago and I really like him. He's completely out and has LOADS of gay friends. I'm hesitant to make this friendship because like all of his male friends are gay and I will most likely be associated with that "crowd" if I pursue this friendship/relationship. I really want to become good friends since 1) he's really a nice kid 2) I have a crush on him 3) he could be a good mentor for me on my sexuality. I haven't talked to him a whole lot, but my one really close friend is best friends with him so we could probably get close through her. Even though I'm not out of the closet yet, should I go and try to become good friends, or maybe more than friends, with this boy?
If you feel like he's someone who could be a valuable person in your support network (or even more, but I wouldn't worry about that yet until you two are pretty close) then definitely go for it. As for the "being associated with that crowd" I totally understand what you're saying. But you can see it as a chance to prove that being part of "that crowd" doesn't mean anything and you could still be the same guy your friends know now. Maybe you could even help their "crowd" to become part of everyone else's? Who knows. I say don't worry about it and just go with the flow. Go for it kid!
go for it, no matter what happens, having gay friends and allies will help you when you are ready to come out, meet a guy, or just to have people to lean on
I love the title of this. It should be on the top of EC's FAQ page! :lol: On the serious side, though, I always ask myself several questions before I pursue a friendship or a relationship: 1. Will the relationship be a successful one in which we can both relate to one another and be on an equal level? 2. Will the relationship, if successful, last longer than a few months? Or more importantly, longer than my feelings of attraction may last? 3. Am I willing to be "part of that group" for this boy? You always have to be prepared for the worst case scenario, even if it may never happen. 4. Will he reciprocate my feelings if I decide to pursue him? He must be able to connect with me mentally as well as physically. While I am writing this, I am thinking that I am writing to a fourteen year-old, which makes me unsure what type of relationship with this boy you want... Dating at 14 could mean almost anything, and while relationships are great, the kind that last a week just make you seem like a whore. (no offense/suggestion intended...) I know many people who used to date different a different person every week, and it just made them look bad in my opinion; as if they weren't in control of their emotions. Also, you must ask yourself if you are prepared for the fact that since he is in a group of gay friends, that there already might be another boy that he likes or vise versa.
The only suggestion I can offer is to eleminate sexuality from this equation. Don't let someone being gay be a determining factor as to whether or not you want to be their friend. Gay, straight, trans, black, yellow, rainbow, fat, thin, popular (Popular with the gay boys in your situation..) or unpopular. None of these things should have much say in your relationships. If you think he's a nice person, and someone you can have a healthy relationship with, then go for it with all your heart!
People will associate you with a group no matter who you hang out with, it just depends on how negatively they look at it. You can be friends with anyone, and if they're a good person you can go hang out with them. I have friends from a lot of different "cliques". Don't stress over that part of it.
High schools a bitch, no matter what crowd you hang around with it's gonna be "that crowd" and it might as well be the crowd that won't take a heart attack if u tuurn up in drag also GO FOR IT as far as being his friend goes, what have you to lose?
i would, im still entirely closeted and kinda in a similar position because i have a close gay friend that i want to come out to, and maybe one day experiment with him. If you have the confidence to do it (which i'm sure you do) you should. It's not even like he can judge you yakno? lmao and if hes not the one for you, you can meet one of his gay friends i'm sure! congrats on starting your coming out process so young. i knew at your age that i wasnt straight and wish i just came out because now i just turned 20 and confused. good luck!
