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Tips for transgenders (help please)

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Keelin, May 25, 2011.

  1. Keelin

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    Okay, so I made this thread because I realized that there are very few transgenders on this cite. I thought that we could talk a bit about our experiences. For me, this is rather difficult to be admiring I'm trans. So I want some help before I feel it is necessary to come out. So if you have any advice, Thanks!:smilewave
     
  2. Wolfy

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    Ah.
    Hello there Lili Pond.
    I'm Transgender myself, and what I did in the beginning was grab a support group. Online friends, and I eventually told my one irl friend, and it was really hard, but I still did it because I pushed myself. I then told my School counselor who I trusted a lot, and we'd discuss ways to tell my mom. Such as letters and all that. I eventually started dating someone, and he gave me courage to actually tell my mother. She took it really bad, and made me cry telling me I wasn't. Don't let your parents get to you if they do that.
    and we eventually got a gender therapist. If you live in the US, you can find one here Therapists

    I don't have any sites for MtF's. But search around for information, and that lot to learn more on what you should know about, about what you're going to go through.
     
  3. Hexagon

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    Hey there. Welcome to EC.

    I'm trans too, FTM. A couple of tips about coming out: Figure out what your parents think about trans issues and the like. There are usually a few articles online that you can react to and bring up the topic. Start the letter/conversation with an explanation of how you've felt for most of your life, and don't just say 'I'm a transsexual'.

    Also remember that you've had years to come to terms with your transsexuality - they've had a few nanoseconds. So give them time. They won't start calling you by your chosen name and proper pronouns instantly, and don't ask them to right away. Maybe after a month, if they haven't asked about/used the correct pronouns, ask. They'll probably forget most of the time, but its better than nothing.

    I'm out to my parents now, mainly because I couldn't stand my body and needed hormones, and I'm glad I came out. There have been rough times, but they're coming around. They've even agreed to a name change over the summer, which means that I can officially tell them to stop calling me by my birth name =D
     
  4. Keelin

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    Geez. Wouldn't it be easier if we could like switch bodies? You two hate being girls and I hate being a guy. Haha
     
  5. Hexagon

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    *lines up*

    I've wished that before, lol.
     
  6. Wolfy

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    Ah, so have I.
    I've heard that they're working on something, that's able to change your gender physically with everything fully working.
     
  7. Keelin

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    If only!
     
  8. Hexagon

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    No, seriously? I guess you don't mean reproduction, but even without it, that would be brilliant. I'd be suprised if they manage in the near future though :/
     
  9. Hot Pink

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    Hi, Lili! The best way to come out is one-on-one--if possible. I came out to my friends first, but it really depends on the person. At the time, I was really afraid of losing my family. The only thing you can do, if you want to be happy, is just take the plunge. It's really easy to procrastinate on this and you'll end up hating yourself for it.

    Think about finding a transgender support group first, if you have difficulties coming out. My advice is to just start coming out ASAP, though. It takes courage, but you have to do it, unfortunately. You can't really start living as a girl until after you do. Homosexuals are a little blessed in that it's significantly easier to hide what they are, but you can't actively be a transgender without someone noticing--unless you're an FTM.
     
  10. Hexagon

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    Depends on whether you change your name or not. :slight_smile:

    Lili; if your parents end up being supportive, coming out will be the best descision in your life. The earlier you do things, the easier transition will be. I told the world I was a boy when I was eight, and I'm wishing to god that I'd had the courage to stay out and live that way. I could have got hormone suppresants and avoided pubery altogether. But even now, my age is a benefit - I can still grow taller if I go on T.

    Basically, the earlier you go on hormones the better. If your parents accept you, then your life should end up being a hell of a lot easier in the long run. If they don't... well that kind of sucks. But parents have a way of coming around. Mine are commited to helping me transition, but they're still asking daily if I'm sure, and if my low eostrogen levels could be effecting my feelings. But they're coming around, and so will your parents.
     
  11. Keelin

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    Would using different habits work. Such as folding more femine origami or writing in a journal work? Then they could figure it out for themselves instead of me telling them. It could lessen the pain...
     
  12. Hot Pink

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    My parents knew I was transgender since I was a little kid, but they never said anything. Even if you leave hints laying around, they may not address them. They may be, in fact, waiting for you to come to them.