Boyfriend moving an hour away.. How to cope. - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender people coming out

Koll · 25th May 2011, 07:42 PM

Alright.

so .. To get an idea.

- I have a group of friends. Myself, My Boyfriend, A guy and a Girl.

Me and him are closeted. nobody knows
He's moving an hour north when school ends to 'get a job' and live with his brothers.

I can't find myself to fucking cope with this, and I'm taking it more harshly than our other friends. It hurts.. so much. He doesn't get it though. he keeps saying he'll visit n shit.

And his Aunt (Who he lives with) is selling her home, so he might not even come back next year.

I'm 16, He's 17. He owns a car that works. My car doesn't work.

I just feel like crying. He can't get a job in the small town we live in.

.. What do I do..

**Jim1454** · 26th May 2011, 10:09 AM

You do what you can do, and stop agonizing over the things you can't.

You can't stop him from moving for the summer.
You can't stop his aunt from selling her house.
You can't know for sure whether he'll be back in the fall or not.

You can tell him how you feel.
You can write to him or call him after he moves.
You can plan on arranging rides with other people to visit him, or getting your car fixed.
You can plan on spending more time with your other friends.

I know it seems like a really big deal, but this is just one in a long string of challenges that life is going to throw at you. Learning how to cope with those challenges is what life is all about.

TheWanderer · 26th May 2011, 10:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jim1454

You do what you can do, and stop agonizing over the things you can't.

I know it seems like a really big deal, but this is just one in a long string of challenges that life is going to throw at you. Learning how to cope with those challenges is what life is all about.

probably the best thing anyone can realize. i wish i did years ago.

**Jim1454** · 26th May 2011, 10:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheWanderer

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jim1454

You do what you can do, and stop agonizing over the things you can't.

I know it seems like a really big deal, but this is just one in a long string of challenges that life is going to throw at you. Learning how to cope with those challenges is what life is all about.

probably the best thing anyone can realize. i wish i did years ago.

With age comes wisdom.

Kidd · 26th May 2011, 10:51 AM

It sucks, obviously, but an hour away really isn't that far when you really think about it. You could jump in a car at noon and be there by 1:00. Sleepovers, weekends, you can still make it work.

25th May 2011, 07:42 PM	#1
Koll sigh. Full Member Gender: Boy Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone. Location: Canada Age: 18 Posts: 276 Join Date: Aug 2009	Boyfriend moving an hour away.. How to cope. Alright. so .. To get an idea. - I have a group of friends. Myself, My Boyfriend, A guy and a Girl. Me and him are closeted. nobody knows He's moving an hour north when school ends to 'get a job' and live with his brothers. I can't find myself to fucking cope with this, and I'm taking it more harshly than our other friends. It hurts.. so much. He doesn't get it though. he keeps saying he'll visit n shit. And his Aunt (Who he lives with) is selling her home, so he might not even come back next year. I'm 16, He's 17. He owns a car that works. My car doesn't work. I just feel like crying. He can't get a job in the small town we live in. .. What do I do.. __________________ :3 I never know what to say

26th May 2011, 10:09 AM	#2
Jim1454 EC 'Dad' EC Advisor Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Toronto Age: 42 Posts: 7,977 Join Date: Mar 2007	Re: Boyfriend moving an hour away.. How to cope. You do what you can do, and stop agonizing over the things you can't. You can't stop him from moving for the summer. You can't stop his aunt from selling her house. You can't know for sure whether he'll be back in the fall or not. You can tell him how you feel. You can write to him or call him after he moves. You can plan on arranging rides with other people to visit him, or getting your car fixed. You can plan on spending more time with your other friends. I know it seems like a really big deal, but this is just one in a long string of challenges that life is going to throw at you. Learning how to cope with those challenges is what life is all about. __________________ Jim "It is never too late to be what you might have been."

26th May 2011, 10:51 AM	#5
Kidd Love Full Member Gender: ♂ Orientation: ♂ ♥ ♂ Out Status: Out Location: N.W. Ohio Age: 22 Posts: 2,240 Join Date: Mar 2010	Re: Boyfriend moving an hour away.. How to cope. It sucks, obviously, but an hour away really isn't that far when you really think about it. You could jump in a car at noon and be there by 1:00. Sleepovers, weekends, you can still make it work. __________________ I'm giving you a night call, to tell you how I feel. I want to drive you through the night, down the hills. I'm gonna tell you something you don't want to hear. I'm gonna show you where it's dark, but have no fear.

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