I don't know how to deal anymore. A month ago I was fired from my job for lateness. It happened frequently because I;d always wake up at 4 in the morning to my brother and the bitch that popped me out going at it. I'd be up for a while and, after going back to sleep, I'd sleep straight through my alarm. We live in a one bedroom apartment - she pretty much only goes where she thinks you want to go because she's a spiteful attention seeker. If you're walking through the cramped hallway, suddenly she needs something in the closet next to you. You say you need to take a shower, she finds herself suddenly needing to use the toilet for a long time. This happens without fail. Basically, I woke up and got mad at her for continuing the behavior that she knows got me fired. She brought it onto some next level stuff - "thats why you'll never have a wife or girlfriend". Now I'm trapped in this cramped 3 foot space with that bitch and I'm sorely tempted to punch her upside the head for good measure. She gets on my case because I speak more intelligently than the rest of the family and frequently berates me for being "college-educated". This is the woman that cashed in me and my siblings' life insurance policies to the sum of $60 K. She took $200,000 she got from the sale of my father's house and spent it on extravagent things for her husband she knew for a year and a half (and who was using her as part of an immigration scheme). So now my college money is off in Bolivia, feeding his children, who are living like kings. My mother is now skint broke. I moved in with my dad after the divorce. After her second (mostly illegal) husband left her, my father forced my brother and I to move in with her. He pays half the rent on our behalf - basically to keep this bitch afloat because no other apartment building was taking her application. She's taken every financial resource we had in this life and squandered it. The money she spent on 3 boats and 2 cars for her husband could have put 2 of us through college. I'm living in this cramped shithole because of her. Where every day is an orchestrated bundle of misery because she's bipolar and thinks she's completely sane. She throws off anything I say as "oh look its Mr. Educated". She called me a junkie because I occasionally smoke weed. This woman has smoked a pack of cigarettes a day since she was 16 and she has the nerve to call me a junkie? As far as I'm concerned weed is just as harmful as cigarettes, and I'm not the addicted one. I don't see any possibility of escape. My new job is $8/12 hours a week. I haven't heard from any of the better jobs I applied to. And even if I found a better one, I'd have to be making at least $25 to support myself (on a strict budget - just barely making it). I'm TRAPPED in this box with a woman I hate. She uses my weed usage as an example of what a terrible person I am...I can't imagine what she'd do with the whole gay thing. Yet she seems keen to mention it. But she doesn't want the cold truth. She's okay with voicing the possibility in the form of an attack, but I know the truth would still knock that bitch down a few pegs. She thinks she's a model parent (if bi-polar dogs can pop out puppies, you've got my mother). She thinks any parent with a gay kid automatically did a terrible job raising their child. I'd love for her to see what a terrible job she really did. I keep getting called out on my sexuality in fights. That's the time they say never to come out. But I want to so badly just to see that dumbstruck look on her stupid face - something to smack reality into her very limited brain. Thanks for reading this, whoever you are. It's sad that we couldn't all be there for each other in the real world. The fact that we have the need of this website in the first place is a sad commentary in and of itself. I wish the world were different. I almost wished that ignorant people could see the error of their ways, but that implies they're to be pitied. An ignorant person is someone who has knowledge of the facts and still chooses to ignore them. Someone like that deserves no pity. I wish they'd just disappear. Then they can all go hang out together - spew their babbling inadequacies to each other instead of infecting the rest of us. ---------- Post added 26th May 2011 at 05:37 AM ---------- Oh, and I'd like to add that any financial cushion I managed to scrimp together for myself - for college or for the day I became unemployed (due to my mother) - went to paying the rent. While my half of the rent was being paid every month, my mother failed to send any money in at all. So 4 months in back rent owed - my family only days away from eviction, I had to clear $5,000 out of my account to keep her afloat. Now I'm worth a whole $28.60. Not counting the change jar in my closet. Thanks, Mom.
You had a college fund - I assume that means that you once planned to go to college. I would sugest actually going and getting a student loan to do it. (Okay, I'm guessing your in the US since you use $, and I don't know if you can get them there, so that advice is more or less useless if you can't.) In England, you can get all the money you need in a loan and pay it all back once you have a decent job. There are also LGBT shelters if you really feel like you can't handle living at home. If you get evicted, then this might be your ony option anyway.
Oh man. You're angry, and I don't blame you. I'd be angry too. It sounds like things could have gone much differently for you than they have. And that has got to be frustrating for you to think about. At the end of the day though, they didn't go the way that you wanted. They've gone the way that they've gone. And now - what to do about it. Your mother isn't ignorant. She's mentally ill. You say yourself that she's bipolar. Has this been formally diagnosed? Or is this your own assessment. You may or may not be right, but either way it sounds like she has made some very bad decisions in life. Perhaps now is the time to stop making her bad decisions your bad decisions. It isn't your responsibility to support your mother. She should be capable of doing that herself, and if she isn't, there is welfare. Your dad doesn't sound much better - for shipping you back to live with her. What does he have to say about this? Is there an opportunity for you (and your brother) to move back in with him? One way or another, you need to end this cycle of insanity. This isn't a healthy situation for you to be living in, so you need to figure out how to change it. And it sounds like you should be willing to do ANYTHING to get out of that situation. Even working a job that is less than ideal or verging on horrible. Absolutely anything would be better than living with her. Friends, other relatives? Is there anyone else who could help?
wow, the world really is unfair! but you, I. Juno, has to take destiny into your own hands and somehow try to make the best out of this horrible situation. Your in charge of your own life, not this girl! what do you wanna do with your life? start dreaming! hope for a better tomorrow! do you want to travel the world? save up money or take a small loan to become a flight attendant in a period! (I dont know how this works in the US but the tuition here in Norway is low) Do you want to create something of your own? start your own business? funding sites on the internet like kickstarter.com is a great place to start if you have a great idea! use your mind, think positive! you can get out of that dump!
If they are dragging you behind in life, then leave them when you get the chance, doesn't matter if they're family, since they don't repsect you at all. Does you bro know how you feel? You should tell the bitch how you feel, doesn't matter if shes bi polar, it ain't fair on you.
