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Trying to make some real progress, any thoughts on this?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by ballin1718, May 26, 2011.

  1. ballin1718

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    NY
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    So there are a few friends I want to tell that I'm Bi to. I'm trying to decide who is the best person of these few I should tell. I'm only putting their initials, idk why i'm keeping their names anonymous but who really cares.

    These are different people than I've have said. If my posts seem repetitive, sorry, I just joined a week ago and trying to figure everything out =).

    None of these people are guys, I have a lot of guy friends, including a few gays, but I just feel like I need to tell one of my female friends, because I think my male friends need to take it in a little bit.

    E: She just graduated from my school, so I'm not gonna see her a lot. This is one reason why I feel like I should tell her. We are close, in weird ways we just click but don't hang out too often, and after being friends for a while we worked on campus together this year. I'm still gonna work in the same place next year, and she got me the job. On top of that she has A LOT of gay friends, like A LOT. She isn't gay herself (she may be a lil bi) but she supports all of that lgbt stuff and is in their clubs and stuff. She would be extremely understanding and would probably give me good advice. On top of that I can talk to her more through the computer instead of in person and just get my emotions out.

    H: Undoubtably my best female friend at school. Her best friend from home (who I'm also friends with) is gay and has been wide open for a really long time. She's been around gay people her whole entire life and knows whats good. I have no concern with her not being understanding, if anything she'll be really happy for me. My only concern is that she is dating my best friend (who is also my roommate next year that I've mention in a prior post). I know I could trust her not to tell him, but IDK how long that would last to be honest. At the end of the day I can say that I trust her, and I'm not seeing her that often over the next three months, but I will see her several times.

    A: She goes to my college, and was one of my best frieends from home in high school. We see eachother a lot at home, but at school I see her less because we kinda have different friends group and shes really into her boyfriend and sorrority, so we have less time to see eachother. Don't get me wrong its partially my fault that we don't see eachother as well but we do love eachother and I trust her. Of the three she is the one I wanna tell the least sadly, mainly because I'm going to see her 3 to 4 times a week for the next three months when I'm home, and IDK if I can say it without saying it to her yaknow? IDK lol

    Anyway, even though I'm not 110% sure of what I want from this, I know that I need to start letting people know what I am sooner than later. So what do you guys think I should do?

    On another note, if I'm bi, how important is it for me to tell my family. I probably won't for a while, but at the same time if I end up marrying a woman, do I really need to tell them, but what if I dont? IDK I think I'm letting my mind wander too much here hahaha

    So tell me what you guys think I should do with my friends or in general thankss! =) mad love for the EC users.
     
  2. ballin1718

    Regular Member

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    Location:
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    Gender:
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    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    O and i forgot I have a twin sister and a 16 year old brother, idk if I should throw them in the mix and tell them as well because i do trust them a lot. hmmm
     
  3. olides84

    Full Member

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    Well, I'll give you my input. It seems the order you wrote them goes from most favorable to least favorable, though to be honest it sounds like all are great candidates. So tell Erica (I'm gonna give them names even if you won't :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:) first since you seem a bit blocked from talking in person, and so you could really connect and pour it all out with an amazing friend thru the computer. Then after that step, and only after that step, should you worry about if, when and how to tell Hannah and Alison and your twin and your brother and your gay guy friends and your straight guy friends and your folks. Just do the first one...it so sounds like you will get awesome support :slight_smile:
     
  4. JustCallMeRJ

    Full Member

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    Location:
    Portland
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Tell at least one of them and see how you feel from there. I think that will really help get a load off your shoulders. :slight_smile:
     
  5. TheEdend

    TheEdend Guest

    Either one sounds great, but if it were up to me I would start with the first one. Starting with baby steps is the best thing since they can give you the momentum that you need.

    Either way, it sounds pretty good so stop thinking so much and go for it! :slight_smile:

    As far as having to come out, well you don't have to come out at all if you don't want.
    As long as it doesn't make you feel like you are hiding part of yourself or that you are leaving them out from your life I would say to not worry about it too much just yet.

    Best of luck! :slight_smile: