So - first things first, how do I find the courage to come out to people that it shouldn't be a problem with? One of my coworkers asked me while we were out for lunch why I broke up with my ex, who is a male- I told him that it was just time to move on (this was in front of one of my coworkers who I came out to) but the truth is I broke up with him because I'm a lesbian. I wish I had the courage just to say that, but I didn't want to make lunch awkward, and also I'm a chicken. Where do I muster up the courage to just be out to everyone? Why am I still so scared? I know I haven't been 'out' for long, but I just wish I could be more bold, have more courage. I so admire those with courage...
I'm not so much a fan of courage as I am of work and planning. In other words: it's hard to see an opportunity and grasp it. And even if you have the courage to take it when it occurs, you risk seeing it too late anyway. Almost all of my comingouts were ones I planned for. I singled out who I wanted to tell, decided to go for it, and then made sure I would see them at the right time and moment, with he right lead-in explanation to tell them. That still takes courage, but you have a framework to hold on to, at least, which makes all the difference. So how about doing that with your coworkers? Don't wait until it comes up, but just make sure you sit down to lunch with that coworker again and tell him: "you know, I evaded the question yesterday, but I do think I want to tell you guys the truth: I broke up with the guy because I'm really more interested in girls". Again, not easy, but if you know ahead of time that you're going to do it and are planning for it, then it's already somewhat easier. (Also, you might want to involve your coworker(s) who know in this. Tell them that you want to come out, but need their help or advice. They might be able to offer morale suport. And don't worry. Over time, it gets easier. Maybe not to the point where it becomes second nature (though for some it does), but the more you come out, the less of a deal it is the next time.
I definitely agree with Filip as far as planning is concerned. Especially during your early coming-outs, you aren't yet used to being seen as a lesbian individual, and so coming out to many people at once is very challenging. Plans to come out can really be helpful in making sure that you are mentally prepared for the individual or group you are telling to see this facet of who you are. Don't be so concerned at the moment with having a lot of courage. The more you come out, and the less you have to be worried that someone will find out without you telling them, the more courage you will get about telling people about this part of you!
I wouldn't be able to tell you exactly how to get courage, because I still don't even know how I got enough myself to start coming out. I do agree with filip that planning can sometimes help the coming out process since you are ready for it and its not unexpected like when your coworker asked you. I'm going to quote part of a blog that I usually read from a person that I admire. Not completely about courage, but I just really like what it says and I think it fits here. Hope it helps some
Courage doesn't mean your not scared its what you do in spite of being scared. Start small, tell one trusted person, you know won't go blabbing it around and go from there
