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Older woman- and a lecturer

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by manpants, May 27, 2011.

  1. manpants

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Cape Town
    Gender:
    Genderqueer
    Hi

    For the last year me and this lecturer have been flirting with each other and we had lots of short awkward little bits of conversation. She doesnt give me any classes. But now a month ago i gave her something in a public space (i dont wanna give too specific details :slight_smile:) anyway and i think someone might have seen this- some of her close friends started greeting me and were really friendly and then just before the holidays started, everything went sour and i didnt really know what happened they're all treating me in a stand offish way now. and when i got back, she's gone and i find out shes probably moved to a different university in another city- she came back once and walked around on campus when i saw her she looked like she was about to walk up to me but didnt
    Im so scared that she has had to move away because of me-
    But our intense staring might have been obvious but theres nothing more to our relationship really- nothing happened i was too scared to do anything really.
    Also our campus is very small and informal and students and lecturers hang out together all the time its like breathing :slight_smile:

    Please let me know if im overreacting - anyway i have just sent her a letter asking what she feels about the her and me business, but i didnt ask about her moving because im not sure and i just overheard something that points to that

    Thank you
    Manpants:smilewave
     
  2. Raeil

    Full Member

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    I may be incorrect here, but as far as I know, most places of education have policies against student/teacher relationships going beyond friendship. Admittedly, this policy might not exist at your school, but if it does that may be a reason for her leaving.

    Of course, there are other reasons as well. She could have left because her contract expired. She could have left because she got a better job offer. She could have left because of family circumstances. These are just a few possible reasons, all of which are very likely to be the case. Short of her telling you the reason, there's no real way to know, but I do think you're slightly overreacting. Still, sending a letter to inquire politely is an excellent idea, which can't really hurt your chances of figuring out what happened.