:help: I'm afraid that, even though I'm not ready at all, something is going to come up and yank me out of the closet. The thing is, I have no idea how my family will react. (So far, only my sister knows) Sometimes I think that they might try to understand and be supportive, then they make some comments or pointed replies that makes me mentally scoot a little farther back into said closet. Actually, I do have a fairly good idea. They'd never kick me out or anything, but they would probably deny it and figure that I'm confused/brainwashed/going through a phase. This goes for both my gender identity and orientation. If/when the time comes, how can I explain myself?
I've actually recently come from a pretty similar situation. When I told my mom, she seemed to be in denial, but it looks like shes getting over it. It takes time and it may be hard for them to accept at first but trust me, once you tell your family it gets so much easier! I told my friends months before I ever even thought of telling my mom, it wasn't even close to as hard. But then when I finally told my mom, even though she figured it was just a phase in my life, it was like... I felt so much lighter, if that makes sense? I told my mom in the car, for two specific reasons. 1) She couldn't try to escape talking about it and 2) neither could I. You might think something else would be better, that is just what I chose to do. Whatever you choose and however you choose to do it, good luck. =)
The best way to be treated like an adult when talking to people (even parents) is to 1. act like an adult and 2. treat them like an adult, as well. It's easy to get emotional about this sort of thing, since it's so personal and so important to us. But when discussing things with your parents, getting emotional often makes them go into parent mode. That's when they're likely to pull out the "oh, you're just confused" or "it's just a phase" routine. Instead, approach it as logically and rationally as you can. It's probably best if you can lead them along your mental processes that got you to your current conclusion. If you just say "I'm pansexual", that'll be fairly easy for them to argue. But if you start at the beginning and give them the timeline - "I first noticed something was weird when I was eleven", "I at first thought maybe it was just a phase", "Just when I thought I understood myself, then I found out that..." - they're far more likely to understand your thought process. They'll be less likely to dismiss it with "oh, it's just a phase" if you explain that it's been going on for years. By pointing out your previous thoughts, they'll be less likely to assume that you simply "found something online and decided that must be it". And if you're still not sure where exactly you're at, I don't think there's anything wrong with saying so, so long as you cast it correctly. "Right now, I think I'm X and Y. It seems to fit how I feel inside, and how I think I am. I don't know if I'm ready to announce any of this to the world yet, seeing as how I'm still not entirely certain that's the correct diagnosis. I'd like to keep mulling it over, and maybe talk to some people, to see how correct this might be." Of course, you know your parents better than me, so perhaps this approach is all wrong for them. Lex
This is very relevant to my current situation. I have recently been coming out slowly to the people that are important to me. As far as I can see it there is only my sister and my parents left as the "big ones." However, I noticed that the more people I come out to the circle gets closer and closer to these remaining three. Also, I have been hanging out with this guy recently and have to make excuses as to where im going and why im out so late. Actually lied and told my dad I met a girl, feel really bad about it and he totally doesnt believe me. Im 24 so I dont really need to answer to them, its more of a courtesy thing because I live in there house. Anyway, I feel your pain. The biggest difference is I do feel like they will kick me out. probably overreacting.
