Hey Everyone My name is Jake and I'm kinda new here. When I was around 6 years old I was molested/raI myself believe thats what turned me gay and to this day I never wanted to be gay at all....NOW I go to a mostly homophobic school and I kinda came out. When the teacher asked us how where we different from other people. I responded with, "I'm different from most people because I'm not homophobic and I care about all people equally." That got me A LOT of attention....I came out to my mom and she told me that she's not going to condone me being gay, but she's going to love me. Ever since she's acted different towards me....I kinda want to kill myself at times and I don't know what to do...Help?
Hi, Jake. Welcome to EC! It's great that you've joined, and great that you felt the courage to say what you said in class... and even though that statement *shouldn't* imply you're gay, it probably will, so in a way you're cracking open the closet door. As for your mom, depending on how long ago you told her, my guess is it will probably take some time for her to get her hands around the idea and be fully accepting of it, so I wouldn't worry about it. As for the abuse you experienced when you were 6... I'm really sorry you had to go through that. It might be helpful to know that childhood sexual abuse of males is believed to be about 1 in 6 boys in the US. While sexual abuse can cause some confusion about one's sexual orientation, there is no credible evidence that it alters sexual orientation. (If it did, then that would indicate that sexual orientation can be changed back from gay to straight, and there's no credible data that's possible, either.) Most abuse survivors end up thinking about their sexuality earlier than their peers, simply because of the abuse, and so it may accelerate awareness of what one's sexuality actually is. I hope you stick around EC and share in our little community, because it's a friendly and welcoming place where you can find a lot of support and insight into what you're feelings and what's happening with you. If you would like to talk individually about either your abuse issues or any other issues, feel free to PM me or any of the other advisors here.
