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Explaining Pansexual To People?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by YumeEatsCanniba, May 29, 2011.

  1. YumeEatsCanniba

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    Hello, My Name Is Yume && I'm A Pansexual.

    My issue is that most people don't even know what a pansexual is.
    Therefore, when I explain it to people, they chalk it up to bisexual [ which it's NOT ].

    When I explain, I usually say:
    "Love is love!
    To put it simply, I'm genderblind."

    and then they say:
    "Oh so you're basically bi?"

    Are there any other pansexuals on this site?
    Or, anyone who can help me find a better way to describe my sexuality?
     
  2. GlindaRose

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    Heya! :slight_smile: I get what you mean. I identify somewhat as Pansexual because I don't believe love should be based on gender, and I've had people chalk it up to 'bisexual' as well. What I tell most people is that if I choose to go out with someone, it's going to be because I love them, not because they're male/female. It's not the same as bisexual, because gender is not included as a factor when deciding which people I like. Hope this helps! :slight_smile:
     
  3. Chip

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    So how is that different from being a bisexual? The bisexual people I know choose to go out with someone because they are attracted to and love them, not because they are one or the other sex. I realize that, technically, "bi" means "two" or male and female, while "pan" would be more inclusive of intersexed and transgendered individuals, but I feel like it's really a semantic difference. Please clarify if I'm missing something.
     
  4. Stuie

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    One of my friends, who identifies as pansexual, told me that it's basically a wanky way of saying bisexual.
    Is it potentially a way to distance yourself from those people who identify as "bisexual", which I'd call "party bi", basically those girls who hook up with other girls at parties with the sole intent of impressing guys?
     
  5. Pseudojim

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    i may be bi, but i consider the genders differently, both in a sexual and romantic sense.

    i think pan people don't.
     
  6. TheEdend

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    ^ That's how I understand it.


    To the OP:

    While it can be very frustrating to try and get people to understand sometimes its important to learn how to just let it go and be okay with people thinking you are bi. The only thing that matters is that you know who you are that nothing else.

    The important thing is that people accept you for who you are. What label they call you really shouldn't matter :slight_smile:
     
  7. Chip

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  8. Hexagon

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    OP: People just seem to take my pansexuality for granted once they know I'm trans. Like because I'm trans I have to like everyone because 'I'm not really male or female' (BS)

    Just say that Pan is different from Bi because, as Pseudojim says, bisexuals generally regard the sexes differently. Pan can be hard to explain, but we love 'regardless of gender' whilst bisexuals love 'both genders'.
     
  9. Fairybread

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    My friend, who identifies as pan, directed me to wikipedia when I asked what it was... You could say that pansexuality encompasses all gender identities, such as transgender, genderqueer etc, as well as the more recognised male or female. Bisexual, bi meaning two, is simply defined as an attraction to male or female.

    Although on a side note, this friend of mine did say that pan and bi were the same thing, bi just sounds sluttier :/ Which I'm quite sure most people on here will disagree with...

    ---------- Post added 30th May 2011 at 09:42 PM ----------

    What does qft mean?
     
  10. TheWanderer

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    What does qft mean?

    "quoted for truth"

    google is your friend
     
  11. GlindaRose

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    I mean that bisexual people are attracted to both males and females, but pansexuals are attracted to personality with complete disregard of gender. Sorry if I wasn't clear! (goodness, it *is* hard to explain! I'm still not sure I'm doing it right!)
     
  12. MrLordZeus

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    Some people are closed minded so when you think about this, they try to cope with using the words
    "bi"
    "fag"
    "Queer"
    There stupidity clouds there thoughts.
     
  13. Mogget

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    Honestly, the difference is so small and so semantic, that I don't think it's worth arguing over. But then, I'm not pan (except when I am, and then I'm more used to calling it bi). *shrugs*
     
  14. IanGallagher

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    I see it as pansexual is a branch off of bisexual. Why? Well, we like both genders and we also like those in-between. I don't think anyone can be completely gender-blind, that would totally disregard being attracted to someone physically as well. Which, I doubt is the case. It's just that intimacy and personality is the bigger turn on in why we choose one person over the next. And gender doesn't factor into the equation at all. That's why I rarely use that term. It confuses people when bi doesn't.

    With...
    The best way is to say you're attracted to guys, girls, and everyone in-between. And their personality/ feeling a certain closeness or trust in them is what turns you on and makes you choose them over another. Which is really the same thing a hetero or homo does when deciding between two mates. Whether you find it leans slightly in one way or the other statistically. I'm more a Kinsey 2.5, for example. I see it as romantically different only in that guys often relate and bond in a way that's different from with a girl (men are from mars, women are from venus). All around, the same though.
     
    #14 IanGallagher, May 30, 2011
    Last edited: May 30, 2011
  15. Forgotten

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    Bisexual - Attraction to 2 genders, male and female.

    Pansexual - Attraction to people, not gender.


    I, myself, identify as pansexual but will allow people to call me bi.[:frowning2:&&&)
     
  16. adam88

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    I say they're both two words that describe the exact same thing. Pan has a nicer definition, though, but Bi is more well known amongst the general public.
     
  17. Pseudojim

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    can you explain exactly why you think that? I'm curious.

    Let's take a hypothetical example.

    A female person enjoys sleeping with other female people but feels incapable of romantic attraction to them.

    This same female person enjoys sleeping with male people, and is also capable of romantic attraction to them.

    This person is not entirely pan, since romantic attraction is possible with only one gender, but sexual enjoyment is possible with both.
     
  18. adam88

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    I don't think that there is a need to split hairs, is all. I like who I like.
     
  19. Pseudojim

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    but it just sounds like an "as for me, so for all" statement

    I don't think i'm splitting hairs so much as pointing out a hole in a theory
     
  20. Meropspusillus

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    I take issue with this definition... I'm not "attracted to the male gender". I'm attracted to people, most of these people happen to be of the male gender.